7 Unfailing Laws of Happy Relationships

Despite all our training in life, we seldom learn about the knitty gritty of relationships, what the simple laws are that make them all we want them to be. Discover some of the laws in this article and learn what steps to take to make things right.

Most think that relationships exist to make them happy. When they find that special person, they believe that love will naturally grow. But in relationships we encounter everything, challenges, joy, fulfillment, loss. Yet, despite all training in life, we seldom learn about the knitty gritty of relationships, how to build the relationship in a way that brings out the best in all.

To start this process, there are 7 simple laws we can learn and use. These laws will act as guideposts, helping us to choose wisely and to avoid costly mistakes.

Law #1 - There is never a lack of relationships. Relationships are abundantly available wherever you are.
Many live with the idea that love is scarce -there's not enough to go around and that they must cling to whatever comes their way. This idea can cause them to get involved with the wrong person, or stay in a relationship that is toxic for them. It is crucial to realize that relationships are plentiful. (If you don’t have one, it is because you are keeping it away). It is never necessary to cling to someone out of fear of being alone.

Law # 2 - Know Who You Are And What You Really Want.
Many enter relationships hoping that it will give them a life, or make them feel better about themselves. They may want their partner to take care of them, or give them the approval they’ve been denied. But it is of the utmost importance to know and respect who you are, to enjoy your own company and be aware of your own values and goals. Otherwise, you can lost in a relationship, become a pawn in someone else’s world.. A healthy relationship is an expression of two people, both equally valuable. In this kind of relationship you discover all you have to offer and how to offer it.

Law #3 - Don't Keep Choosing The Wrong Person For You.
Some find, to their amazement, that they choose the same partner, over and over again. Relationships patterns repeat as well. This is called the repetition compulsion. It is the unconscious need to repeat a situation over and over until we master it or it turns out the way we want it to. This compulsion keeps some people stuck in a bind.

If you are caught in this, see what this pattern is doing for you. Actively choose different places to go and individuals who are different from those you usually meet. Become stronger than the pattern. Turn you life around.

Law #4 - Enjoy Honest Communication.
Without the ability to say No, we cannot say Yes. Don't pretend to be someone you're not to make another happy. Don't give up that which is meaningful to you for the sake of a friendship. The bedrock of all happy relationships is mutual respect and acceptance and open, honest, communication. Ask for what is important to you. Find out what is really going on for your partner. When a person really feels listened to and accepted they feel loved.

Law #5 - Don’t Try To Change Or Fix Other Person.
Let everyone be who they are, including yourself. So many of us are obsessed with changing or fixing everyone. This is not friendship, but manipulation. . Many believe that if the person cared enough, they would certainly change for them. This is not so. Changing another is not your job. Find out who the person you are with really is. If someone feels accepted, they can change themselves, if they want to.

Law # 6 - Know Difference Between Real and Counterfeit Love.
Feeling happy, high, excited or attached to a person, feeling possessive or dependent is not love. It's infatuation, ego thrills or dependency, usually based upon fantasy. Inevitably, fantasies fade. People then feel that the love is over. It is not over, it’s just been a form of counterfeit love. We must learn the difference between real and counterfeit love, between love and fantasy.

Counterfeit love always involves struggle and pain. Real love never does. Real love is a verb. It is not based simply upon feelings, which come and go, but actions. It is important to learn "to"do love". Do love and you will be loved. in return.

Law #7 - See the Best In Others - And In Yourself.
What we see in others, we bring out in them. If we focus upon their negative points (and let them know about them), you can be certain the negativity will increase. When we focus upon what is good in that person and let them know, this brings out the best. The better a person then feels about themselves, the less need they have for negativity. Often it can just fall away on its own.

Law #7 ½ - The Master Law. When They Come We Welcome, When They Go We Do Not Pursue
Understand that each relationship lasts for a certain time. You've come together to learn from one another, to share, enjoy and often move along. This is not rejection, but growth and change. Change is natural and inevitable. Don't see it as failure. Don't see it as loss. Don't try to control when time comes to go. Realize that if the person is supposed to be with you longer, they will return on their own. The greatest art of relationships is to know how to let go. When someone new comes welcome them, when it's time to let go, thank the person for all you've received from them and let go.

By Dr. Brenda Shoshanna

Relationships Today Follow the Rules of a Sexy Game, Not Love

Most relationships today have very little to do with love and everything to do with the rules of a sexy game that almost everyone participates in to one degree or another.

Falling in love isn’t what it used to be. Rather than looking for mutual trusting relationships, young men and women today play a sexy game to win all the satisfaction they can and envy of all around them.

In fact, there isn’t a lot of love involved at all. Why do you think marriages so often fail? In today’s sexy game the biggest relationship faux pas is to show you are more romantically interested in another person than they are in you. That naive mistake is what sets people up for heart ache and drives them, ironically, even deeper into the sexy game.

In the sexy game most young people play today, the goal is to get what you want and make sure everyone else sees how successful you are. The tools of the sexy game are manipulation and deception.

What men want is physical satisfaction and freedom. Women know what men want. So women get really good at using their physical assets and they know how to make men think they have freedom. Women use these tools to get what they want in the sexy game.

What women want is money and control. Men know what women want. So they position themselves to provide the steadiest supply of money and give women the illusion of control to maximize their ROI.

Men and women who are adept at the sexy game know that their partners are trying to manipulate them and know how they are trying to do it. A man’s desire for freedom is in direct opposition to a woman’s desire for control. It is very important for both sides in the sexy game to believe they are winning the manipulation war – that they are getting more value than they are giving. So men play dumb and needy and regulate the money supply. Women play up their emotions and regulate physical affection. They use these tactics to make the other think he or she is in jeopardy of losing the source of his or her satisfaction. This ongoing struggle is the basis of the sexy game.

Another important part of the sexy game is optimizing the number of partners you are manipulating without making it obvious that’s what you are doing. Failure to keep this a secret from one of your partners can often be a relationship breaker that will domino to other partners. Vagueness in the level of your relationships is important in the sexy game. Even if you are openly dating one partner, it is possible to maintain other undefined relationships in close proximity. Both men and women engage in this practice. Common euphemisms for it include "innocent flirting" and "keeping one’s options open."

A skilled sexy game player can maintain several undefined relationships, continually making his or her undefined partners think the relationship is on the verge of moving to the next level.

Although most play in the sexy game is done within "romantic" relationships. The score of the game is determined in comparison to peers. Both men and women report their feats of sexy game play to roommates, friends, siblings, etc. and this is where their success is judged. This is the part of the sexy game where kissing and telling is appropriate.

Men and women differ in how they go about it. It is most common for a man to describe in detail his physical exploits and the thoughtlessness with which he asserts his freedom in the face of the woman’s desire for control in conversations involving three or more males. "Fish stories" and even out right lies are common here. If a man tells a story another man believes to be false, the doubter may go to great lengths to expose the lie and destroy the relationship in question all, of course, in an effort to improve his own standing in the sexy game.

Women generally find showing more effective than telling to report their sexy game exploits. Money spent on a woman is easy for her to show off to other women. Jewelry, flowers, tickets to plays are all excellent trophies. Women magnify the importance of the gifts and brandish their control in relationships by feigning confusion about what to do about men who are obviously more interested in her than she is in them. Only when desperate do women try to fake gifts, like sending flowers to themselves. If caught in this practice, it is very difficult to rebuild one’s standing in the sexy game.

I hope this article has given you a better understanding of the rules of the sexy game. You may prefer not to acknowledge you are participating in the sexy game and simply apply the principles to your relationships. That’s ok. The most important rule of the sexy game is to appear to everyone else to be completely ignorant of it.

About the Author: Mat Moniker is a writer for Innuity and a student of relationship building. For tools to aid you in your play of the sexy game, go to Intimate Collections.

By 10x Marketing

Choosing the right partner for a lasting relationship

When it's the question of choosing your life partner, you should make the proper decision. Whether or not your partner is right for you is undoubtedly is one of the most important decisions of your life, since your entire future depends on this. Sometimes you are just confused as to whether you really love the person you are dating or it is mere attraction and it is difficult to make a decision. You don't know how can you be sure you have the picked the right one?

Well, the first thing you need to do is honestly ask yourself why you love or are with your partner? You must understand your heart and what it says. Does your heart beat for your partner? Do you feel totally devastated when he is not around? You should know the difference between love and infatuation.

When it is spending your whole life with a person do not go in for a blind love. Don't build a relationship upon fear, insecurity and pity. It will never last and will only give unhappiness and sorrow. Remember that if there are too many ifs, ands or buts in a relationship then sooner or later the relationship is bound to fail.

So the question still remains, how do you choose the right partner? Well following are a few tips that will definitely help you understand love and help you make the important decision as to choosing the right partner.

Common Interests
For a compatible relationship the couple should have common interests. You have to have something in common with your partner in order to be able to be with him and do things together. Physically you might have great relations, but does that really matter?

When two people have different interests, one person usually ends up sacrificing their desires for the other person in order to live a happy life, or else or you end up living completely separate lives. Therefore to avoid any future complications and creating ego problems it is better to always analyze your interests and desire and see whether they match.

Ambitions
It is also necessary to preserve your individuality and make it clear that you too have a life and ambition. Though women are supposed to stay at home and take care of kids and home but if you are an ambitious kind of a person then always find out whether your partner and in-laws are comfortable with it. Are they willing to let you have that career you have always wanted.

Intellect
The next thing that you have to look out for is whether your partner and your intellect match. It is very difficult to communicate with a dull or insensitive person. Ask these questions to yourself. When you talk to him, is he on the same level as you? How long does it take him to answer your question?

Do you get bored because he answers everything else under the sun rather than the question you asked him? Does he understand you when you speak? Can you really talk to him about absolutely anything? This may sound crazy but imagine living your entire life with someone who doesn't understand you and who frustrates you to no end by his speed of communication and just doesn't get it when you are trying to explain something to him?

Principles
If you are a person who goes by principles and strictly follows them and your partner has no principles then there is bound to be problems in your relationship. You have to straighten it out before plunging into marriage.

By Prerna salla