Guys, I'm here to tell you that it is easier to get hot women then you may have ever imagined. There are few things that you need to know. But once you understand this, it will change your entire game and you'll be amazed at how easy attracting women becomes.
Why would I share this information with you? Because there's plenty of girls to go around, and I've been in your shoes. It took me a long time to figure all this out, and that is why I'm sharing it.
Attracting women all comes down to science. Women are attracted to the Alpha male. The reason they are goes back to caveman days. You see, to make sure that their children were protected women would choose the strongest man they could. They still do that to this day.
That is why you need to be a man that is filled with confidence. That is what the Alpha male has and that is what you need to have. Women are more attracted to this trait than anything. If you have ever seen an ugly guy that is dating an incredibly hot girl, then you have seen this in action. Confidence is number one.
It is often referred to as inner game. It takes practice, but it is a skill you can learn. Every single man on this planet has the ability to be the Alpha male. But society has robbed us of these skills. It's time to get them back. It's time to master your confidence and once you do, you'll be blown away by how many hot women you'll be able to attract. That is the big secret that you need to know. It's time for you to be the Alpha male that you've always dreamed about being.
You can get a hot girl tonight... Click Here Now to become the alpha male that you've always dreamed of! Start learning to seduce women easily: Become Alpha Male!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Monday, February 22, 2010
Make Your Relationship Last - Delay Sex
Do you want to know how to make your relationship last? Are you ready to have something that makes it through and stands the test of time? Has someone told you to delay having sex and you wonder why? There are a lot of relationships that don't last these days. There are a number of reasons why relationships struggle. One of them is that there isn't a deep enough bond. One way to develop a deeper bond and make your relationship last is to delay sex.
If you are out for a good time or if you just want to have sex then there is no reason why you should delay sex. Enjoy it. However, if you want to make your relationship last then you should wait for sex.
One of the reasons for this is because of how he views your intentions. Whether men realize it or not, they will view your intentions according to when you have sex. They will also act accordingly. If you have sex early on then he is going to see your intentions as being related to sex. On the other hand, if you hold off then it will seem that you are after a relationship and he will act in the same manner. It will be harder for him to move someone who he thinks is after sex into the realm of girlfriend.
Sex also clouds the issue. It makes it hard for you to build an emotional bond. You see, sex is a physical bond and as such it tends to take the place of the emotional bond. Men find it lots easier to be physical rather than emotional. However, the emotional bond is much more important than the physical one. It is what will get you through the hard times and will help you carry on. You want to make sure that you are building up the emotional bond so that your relationship will last.
The only question left to ask is how long should you wait. It is important that you ask yourself how long it will take to build a relationship and a friendship that has a solid emotional bond. This is important. Often it will take at least a few weeks. Some experts suggest that you should wait at least ninety days before having sex.
If you really want a relationship and you really want it to last then you want to delay sex. It is important that you do so to allow a build up of the emotional bond. This emotional bond is what will get your relationship through the tough times.
Imagine what if you could make any man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you? Click Unforgettable Woman Advice and learn 77 Secrets that 99% of women have never heard. You have got to see this!
This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
If you are out for a good time or if you just want to have sex then there is no reason why you should delay sex. Enjoy it. However, if you want to make your relationship last then you should wait for sex.
One of the reasons for this is because of how he views your intentions. Whether men realize it or not, they will view your intentions according to when you have sex. They will also act accordingly. If you have sex early on then he is going to see your intentions as being related to sex. On the other hand, if you hold off then it will seem that you are after a relationship and he will act in the same manner. It will be harder for him to move someone who he thinks is after sex into the realm of girlfriend.
Sex also clouds the issue. It makes it hard for you to build an emotional bond. You see, sex is a physical bond and as such it tends to take the place of the emotional bond. Men find it lots easier to be physical rather than emotional. However, the emotional bond is much more important than the physical one. It is what will get you through the hard times and will help you carry on. You want to make sure that you are building up the emotional bond so that your relationship will last.
The only question left to ask is how long should you wait. It is important that you ask yourself how long it will take to build a relationship and a friendship that has a solid emotional bond. This is important. Often it will take at least a few weeks. Some experts suggest that you should wait at least ninety days before having sex.
If you really want a relationship and you really want it to last then you want to delay sex. It is important that you do so to allow a build up of the emotional bond. This emotional bond is what will get your relationship through the tough times.
Imagine what if you could make any man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you? Click Unforgettable Woman Advice and learn 77 Secrets that 99% of women have never heard. You have got to see this!
This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Essence of True and Everlasting Friendship
Friendship is a blessing in disguise. It is a dynamic mutual relationship between two persons who share their life as well as their souls. It is one relationship in life that we choose. Before we enter this world, God already records in His book who are parents will be, who are brothers, and relatives will be. It is also believed that marriages are also made in heaven; this means God's record book also has a mention of who our life partner will be. The only relationship that we have the freedom to choose is friendship.
Different people define friendship in different ways. For some it is trust, for some companionship, for some its unconditional love, for some it's just a feeling, and for some it is life. In all definitions, the essence of friendship remains the same. Trust comes when you feel close a person and feel love for that person.
You feel like sharing your secrets and every move of your life with that person. This connection makes you feel passionate and strengthens the bond your share. At a time when you feel intimate and place your trust on someone, in return you give unconditional love and selfless care and if required you also be ready to sacrifice your life for your friend. This complete symphony of unconditional love, blind faith, deep understanding, and selfless care forms the base of true and everlasting friendship.
Friendship is like a tree that has to be nurtured with warmth, sunlight, and care. These ingredients are essential for healthy growth of any relationship. The love in your heart should be deeply etched like the deep rooted seeds of the tree. As the tree grow stronger and bigger of the seeds are soiled properly, so does the tree of friendship. Its strength and power is attributed to the intensity of love and care deeply rooted in your heart.
When you have good friends you feel secure and comfortable with them. The entire world looks like a merry-go-round when you have true friends beside you. When in pain they'll heal you, when in sorrow they'll give you smile, when in worry they'll give you hope, and when lost they'll give you a new dawn to start afresh. They form a channel of love and affection that help you go through all trial and tribulation with ease and comfort. Not only they make your journey easy but they also give you wings to reach the horizon. What else a man needs for survival? What is more comforting than a true friend beside you during worst phases of life?
Among all the relationships existing in the world, friendship is the only one that is unconditional and survives the hardship of time. And to know the true essence of friendship you need to have a true friend with whom you can conquer the world. This special bonding between friends is a priceless treasure that stays with you in under all the situations of life. It fills your life with affection, love, care, charm, and loads of fun.
If you have true friends and you wish to express your love and gratitude to them for being there with you through all the ups and downs, then the best way is to send them beautiful friendship sms. One message from you can touch their life and make their day special.
Check beautiful friendship messages and poems on friendship sms and best friend poems.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Different people define friendship in different ways. For some it is trust, for some companionship, for some its unconditional love, for some it's just a feeling, and for some it is life. In all definitions, the essence of friendship remains the same. Trust comes when you feel close a person and feel love for that person.
You feel like sharing your secrets and every move of your life with that person. This connection makes you feel passionate and strengthens the bond your share. At a time when you feel intimate and place your trust on someone, in return you give unconditional love and selfless care and if required you also be ready to sacrifice your life for your friend. This complete symphony of unconditional love, blind faith, deep understanding, and selfless care forms the base of true and everlasting friendship.
Friendship is like a tree that has to be nurtured with warmth, sunlight, and care. These ingredients are essential for healthy growth of any relationship. The love in your heart should be deeply etched like the deep rooted seeds of the tree. As the tree grow stronger and bigger of the seeds are soiled properly, so does the tree of friendship. Its strength and power is attributed to the intensity of love and care deeply rooted in your heart.
When you have good friends you feel secure and comfortable with them. The entire world looks like a merry-go-round when you have true friends beside you. When in pain they'll heal you, when in sorrow they'll give you smile, when in worry they'll give you hope, and when lost they'll give you a new dawn to start afresh. They form a channel of love and affection that help you go through all trial and tribulation with ease and comfort. Not only they make your journey easy but they also give you wings to reach the horizon. What else a man needs for survival? What is more comforting than a true friend beside you during worst phases of life?
Among all the relationships existing in the world, friendship is the only one that is unconditional and survives the hardship of time. And to know the true essence of friendship you need to have a true friend with whom you can conquer the world. This special bonding between friends is a priceless treasure that stays with you in under all the situations of life. It fills your life with affection, love, care, charm, and loads of fun.
If you have true friends and you wish to express your love and gratitude to them for being there with you through all the ups and downs, then the best way is to send them beautiful friendship sms. One message from you can touch their life and make their day special.
Check beautiful friendship messages and poems on friendship sms and best friend poems.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Dos and Do Nots Early in the Relationship
Many of the students I personally trained are in the start of a relationship with a girl that answers all their standards. And it came to my attention that many of them lack the knowledge, due to past lack of experience, on how to maintain, and how to start a successful long term relationship with a girl. Here is some of my best advice to use in an early relationship. Let's begin:
• In the beginning of the relationship (2-3 successful dates) there's no need to call her every day on the phone, allow her to miss you, to be a little uncertain, let her mind sink with thoughts of you. A man who call women more than two times in a day, or send them too many messages, is making the woman think that he's dependent, bored... and believe me... that's a huge turn off! Compared to him, the busy guy, that has life, that projects some Indifference, but he knows to say the right words so we will know he's interested, he... really turns them on.
• Think about being spontaneous and flexible, but don't exaggerate, if you already made plans with your friends, or other plans, there is no reason for you to cancel them for her, especially that early in your relationship, again, women love men that live an interesting and exciting way of life, without them. Too much excitement though will be pretty annoying and, it will lower your value. Btw, if you have free time after work, GET A LIFE! Go and sign up for some cool activities, seminars, anything you always wanted to do but you never did, and don't forget to compliment yourself when you do so. Also, invest your time in sports - it will pay off!
• Be different! Don't be like everybody else, if you're like everyone else you are boring and she wants someone who will excite her, give her stomach butterflies and will rock her world. Plan your dates, think what everyone does, and how you are going to make it different, by taking her to a special place, maybe a cool activity, bowling, laughing yoga, to a tarot reading witch, surprise her!
• It's important to take matters into your hands with everything that involves making decisions. You of course can consult her, and ask for her opinion, but don't get to the situation where you say: "whatever you want". Women will not often admit that, and the feminists would probably be angry with me, but women love men who know what they want, women enjoy, and are attracted to a man that make the decisions for them, it makes them feel very feminine... and it's fun.
• And with the last tip in mind, don't apologize for your needs as a man, you are attracted to her, and she is very flattered by that, and you know what? Women also love touch and even sex... OH MY! The thing is with women that they don't want to appear too easy or to feel slutty. Women we're educated that having sex early in a relationship is cheap and not honorable, and therefore they need to give themselves some excuses. If you invite her to your place with no excuse, that would mean for her that you are asking her to come for sex, and she will have to turn you down to keep her honor, but if you'll invite her to see your cool collection of comic books, that would sound like a reasonable excuse for her, and it will make her feel as if: "it just happened"
Learn How To Make It Happen Here
Hi, I'm Nicholas N. Black, a dating coach expert, a master seductionist, and the leader of my tribe. I've been in the field of self improvement and seduction for over a decade, and i studied with the best gurus and leaders in this area. I live my life in the way of constant and never-ending improvement. I've been there, and I've done that. Allow me to enrich your world with countless possibilities and opportunities that will make your life worth living:)
Love,
Nicholas
Check My Story Here Now!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
• In the beginning of the relationship (2-3 successful dates) there's no need to call her every day on the phone, allow her to miss you, to be a little uncertain, let her mind sink with thoughts of you. A man who call women more than two times in a day, or send them too many messages, is making the woman think that he's dependent, bored... and believe me... that's a huge turn off! Compared to him, the busy guy, that has life, that projects some Indifference, but he knows to say the right words so we will know he's interested, he... really turns them on.
• Think about being spontaneous and flexible, but don't exaggerate, if you already made plans with your friends, or other plans, there is no reason for you to cancel them for her, especially that early in your relationship, again, women love men that live an interesting and exciting way of life, without them. Too much excitement though will be pretty annoying and, it will lower your value. Btw, if you have free time after work, GET A LIFE! Go and sign up for some cool activities, seminars, anything you always wanted to do but you never did, and don't forget to compliment yourself when you do so. Also, invest your time in sports - it will pay off!
• Be different! Don't be like everybody else, if you're like everyone else you are boring and she wants someone who will excite her, give her stomach butterflies and will rock her world. Plan your dates, think what everyone does, and how you are going to make it different, by taking her to a special place, maybe a cool activity, bowling, laughing yoga, to a tarot reading witch, surprise her!
• It's important to take matters into your hands with everything that involves making decisions. You of course can consult her, and ask for her opinion, but don't get to the situation where you say: "whatever you want". Women will not often admit that, and the feminists would probably be angry with me, but women love men who know what they want, women enjoy, and are attracted to a man that make the decisions for them, it makes them feel very feminine... and it's fun.
• And with the last tip in mind, don't apologize for your needs as a man, you are attracted to her, and she is very flattered by that, and you know what? Women also love touch and even sex... OH MY! The thing is with women that they don't want to appear too easy or to feel slutty. Women we're educated that having sex early in a relationship is cheap and not honorable, and therefore they need to give themselves some excuses. If you invite her to your place with no excuse, that would mean for her that you are asking her to come for sex, and she will have to turn you down to keep her honor, but if you'll invite her to see your cool collection of comic books, that would sound like a reasonable excuse for her, and it will make her feel as if: "it just happened"
Learn How To Make It Happen Here
Hi, I'm Nicholas N. Black, a dating coach expert, a master seductionist, and the leader of my tribe. I've been in the field of self improvement and seduction for over a decade, and i studied with the best gurus and leaders in this area. I live my life in the way of constant and never-ending improvement. I've been there, and I've done that. Allow me to enrich your world with countless possibilities and opportunities that will make your life worth living:)
Love,
Nicholas
Check My Story Here Now!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
The Best Way to Test Your Relationship
nullIf you have been using the internet for any given amount of time, you have probably seen some form of relationship test out there. If not online, maybe you have seen one in a dating magazine. I'm going to tell you right now that taking one of those tests you find either on the internet or in a magazine is not the best way to determine whether you and your current partner are compatible with each other. Today I am going to talk about how you can make your relationship last by strengthening it.
So what exactly is the main problem with all of the relationship tests found on dating websites and in dating magazines? You should be familiar with these types of tests if you ever even glanced at or picked up any teen magazine. These publications give you these little tests to take, and they claim doing so will tell you if you and your partner are right for each other. The test is usually multiple choice, with just 20 questions or so. By the end of it you are supposed to know whether you should dump your partner or keep them around.
Do you want to hear the honest truth? No relationship test out there, no matter how long or how detailed it is, can ever REALLY tell you whether a relationship will work or not. According to the most experienced personality specialists, each personality type comes with different strengths and weaknesses. The truth is that any two types of personalities can get together, decide to get married, and be happy for the rest of their lives. The trick is being aware of the differences between the two of you, and putting forth some effort and hard work to make the marriage last.
It has been said that the best way to find out if you like something or not is to just try it. Trying a new food is a great example of this. How can you know that you really don't like a certain kind of food if you have never tried it before? When it comes to relationships, the best kind of "test" you can take is to just get out there and experience life. If you are dating somebody and you are happier than you have ever been before, don't listen to a silly magazine quiz that claims you and your partner aren't right for each other. The same goes for the opposite situation. If you aren't happy in your current relationship, but this little quiz you took says the he or she is your soul mate, get out anyway. Don't listen to it.
If you have ever been in a relationship that lasted more than two weeks, you obviously know that life isn't always perfect. Once you have been with the same person a little while you will start to notice that their habits annoy you, and your personalities will begin to clash. Everyone has their own unique faults, so don't throw away a relationship that could be great over something little and insignificant. Whether you want to make a great relationship even stronger than it is, or begin to strengthen one that is struggling, follow these two tips.
First, you NEED to learn how to communicate. Some people have trouble expressing their feelings and emotions. Having trouble with it isn't a valid excuse for not telling your partner what you are thinking or how you are feeling. Without good communication, your relationship will suffer. Second, spend some quality time together. In case you were wondering, no, 15 minutes a day with your partner is not considered quality time. Quantity is just as important as quality in this case. Make whatever sacrifices you need to so you can spend enough time with your partner.
Jake Dennert has been writing and publishing articles online for almost 3 years now, and he has recently taken an interest in alarm clocks. Come check out his latest website, where the two main topics are the battery operated alarm clock and novelty alarm clocks.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
So what exactly is the main problem with all of the relationship tests found on dating websites and in dating magazines? You should be familiar with these types of tests if you ever even glanced at or picked up any teen magazine. These publications give you these little tests to take, and they claim doing so will tell you if you and your partner are right for each other. The test is usually multiple choice, with just 20 questions or so. By the end of it you are supposed to know whether you should dump your partner or keep them around.
Do you want to hear the honest truth? No relationship test out there, no matter how long or how detailed it is, can ever REALLY tell you whether a relationship will work or not. According to the most experienced personality specialists, each personality type comes with different strengths and weaknesses. The truth is that any two types of personalities can get together, decide to get married, and be happy for the rest of their lives. The trick is being aware of the differences between the two of you, and putting forth some effort and hard work to make the marriage last.
It has been said that the best way to find out if you like something or not is to just try it. Trying a new food is a great example of this. How can you know that you really don't like a certain kind of food if you have never tried it before? When it comes to relationships, the best kind of "test" you can take is to just get out there and experience life. If you are dating somebody and you are happier than you have ever been before, don't listen to a silly magazine quiz that claims you and your partner aren't right for each other. The same goes for the opposite situation. If you aren't happy in your current relationship, but this little quiz you took says the he or she is your soul mate, get out anyway. Don't listen to it.
If you have ever been in a relationship that lasted more than two weeks, you obviously know that life isn't always perfect. Once you have been with the same person a little while you will start to notice that their habits annoy you, and your personalities will begin to clash. Everyone has their own unique faults, so don't throw away a relationship that could be great over something little and insignificant. Whether you want to make a great relationship even stronger than it is, or begin to strengthen one that is struggling, follow these two tips.
First, you NEED to learn how to communicate. Some people have trouble expressing their feelings and emotions. Having trouble with it isn't a valid excuse for not telling your partner what you are thinking or how you are feeling. Without good communication, your relationship will suffer. Second, spend some quality time together. In case you were wondering, no, 15 minutes a day with your partner is not considered quality time. Quantity is just as important as quality in this case. Make whatever sacrifices you need to so you can spend enough time with your partner.
Jake Dennert has been writing and publishing articles online for almost 3 years now, and he has recently taken an interest in alarm clocks. Come check out his latest website, where the two main topics are the battery operated alarm clock and novelty alarm clocks.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Do Not Get Married Until You Know These Three Things!
Love Never Dies. Love Is A Feeling. Love Is Ever-Evolving. Love never dies. You cannot know this to be true: that love never dies, and that love is eternal, until you are on the other side of the illusion that you are loving a person in a body that will die with that body (to include your own body). The person you fall in love with is yourself, in the eyes of another. Whether it is and adult or a child, a friend or a mentor. You are being brought back to yourself with the feeling inside of love, that you attribute to the other person.
It is you that is feeling the love. Live that truth and knowing. When you apparently fall out of love with another, it is you that is not loving the other. Can you see that? Look in retrospect at the trail of love in your life. On reflection, you can surely see that it was you all along, with the feeling of love from within you toward other. Romantic love is different. The way to know the difference is that it is a highly addictive state. You will do anything to get a 'fix' called the other person. You are attached. Love, true love, has no attachment. It is clean, clear, non-attachment, as it is eternal and there is no need to grasp onto it. Which is one of the ways of knowing, 'is this true love?' You can let it go, meaning let it keep moving, changing shape. In the moment that it comes in, you release it to the moment. It's full.
- Love is a feeling. That is it. A feeling inside that fills you with something very familiar to your heart and soul. Love is you. You are here to bring the love that you are to what comes into your awareness, and that you pay attention to. Like a child that has come into your life that you are giving your attention to, and love. This is what grows us. Love. A very beautiful feeling of fulfillment, that is unconditional in nature. You can look into the eyes of your beloved and say: "I do not need you. I want to be in your life, and so here I am, lovingly. My love, I want to be with you, and share life with you". That is wholeness. A whole person sharing love, not completing the other, rather sharing with the other.
- Love is ever-evolving. The energy of love cannot remain constant for a moment. It is energy. It is energy in motion. E-motion. Constantly moving and changing shape. Because that is the way of it. Where people (especially couples) get caught is in thinking their love will remain the same as the day they met. That the feelings will remain intact. They won't. They can't. The feeling of love changes moment by moment. It is actually growing you. What happens is we resist it by clinging on to a past feeling state. When we see the other changing and growing, from the love, we resist the changes and want the other person back. It can't happen that way.
- Be open-minded. Be open-hearted. Be willing to ride the ever changing state of mind and being that moves with, and from, love. Love is who you are. Love with that awareness and all will be well in your world. Love what is real in your life. Reality is what is inside of you. Feel it. Love your self through life. It all grows from there. Fall out of love with you, and you fall out of love with life. Love is who you are. When you ride the river of love, it is like the river of life, constantly ever changing and evolving. Enjoy the ride.
Anya Sophia Mann is a Visionary and Intuitive Consultant, who masterfully coaches leaders of leaders, teachers of teachers, and healers of healers into new thought, mindfulness, and new ways of being in the world. People say 'follow your heart', Anya proposes that you lead with your heart. Anya is laser-like in evoking your uniqueness. She believes your uniqueness IS your success. She facilitates international workshops, and retreats, for leaders of all disciplines. She offers coaching, consulting and mentoring services and is available for public speaking.
She is founder of: http://www.LifeCoachingMagazine.net
http://www.ConsciousJourney.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
It is you that is feeling the love. Live that truth and knowing. When you apparently fall out of love with another, it is you that is not loving the other. Can you see that? Look in retrospect at the trail of love in your life. On reflection, you can surely see that it was you all along, with the feeling of love from within you toward other. Romantic love is different. The way to know the difference is that it is a highly addictive state. You will do anything to get a 'fix' called the other person. You are attached. Love, true love, has no attachment. It is clean, clear, non-attachment, as it is eternal and there is no need to grasp onto it. Which is one of the ways of knowing, 'is this true love?' You can let it go, meaning let it keep moving, changing shape. In the moment that it comes in, you release it to the moment. It's full.
- Love is a feeling. That is it. A feeling inside that fills you with something very familiar to your heart and soul. Love is you. You are here to bring the love that you are to what comes into your awareness, and that you pay attention to. Like a child that has come into your life that you are giving your attention to, and love. This is what grows us. Love. A very beautiful feeling of fulfillment, that is unconditional in nature. You can look into the eyes of your beloved and say: "I do not need you. I want to be in your life, and so here I am, lovingly. My love, I want to be with you, and share life with you". That is wholeness. A whole person sharing love, not completing the other, rather sharing with the other.
- Love is ever-evolving. The energy of love cannot remain constant for a moment. It is energy. It is energy in motion. E-motion. Constantly moving and changing shape. Because that is the way of it. Where people (especially couples) get caught is in thinking their love will remain the same as the day they met. That the feelings will remain intact. They won't. They can't. The feeling of love changes moment by moment. It is actually growing you. What happens is we resist it by clinging on to a past feeling state. When we see the other changing and growing, from the love, we resist the changes and want the other person back. It can't happen that way.
- Be open-minded. Be open-hearted. Be willing to ride the ever changing state of mind and being that moves with, and from, love. Love is who you are. Love with that awareness and all will be well in your world. Love what is real in your life. Reality is what is inside of you. Feel it. Love your self through life. It all grows from there. Fall out of love with you, and you fall out of love with life. Love is who you are. When you ride the river of love, it is like the river of life, constantly ever changing and evolving. Enjoy the ride.
Anya Sophia Mann is a Visionary and Intuitive Consultant, who masterfully coaches leaders of leaders, teachers of teachers, and healers of healers into new thought, mindfulness, and new ways of being in the world. People say 'follow your heart', Anya proposes that you lead with your heart. Anya is laser-like in evoking your uniqueness. She believes your uniqueness IS your success. She facilitates international workshops, and retreats, for leaders of all disciplines. She offers coaching, consulting and mentoring services and is available for public speaking.
She is founder of: http://www.LifeCoachingMagazine.net
http://www.ConsciousJourney.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
The Color of Courtship
"There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. It is God's finger on man's shoulder."- Charles Morgan
A dear friend and wonderful colleague, Gene Monterastelli invited me as a guest on his radio show a while back, and I talked about the role of color in conjunction with EFT (emotional freedom technique). I gave a general overview of colors, and, like during many of my talks, an awareness of a particular color and its applications may suddenly appear.
Gene commented on an interesting online trend he had noticed relevant to individuals seeking a relationship: a reoccurring theme with the color green. Whether it was stated that "green" was a favorite color, or the profile itself reflected a green palette; whatever the application, it occurred often enough to capture his attention.
I even had to laugh because as we talked about his observations, I remembered that a recent movie with Jennifer Anniston entitled, "Love Happens," uses a marketing typography of green!
Green is the color of courtship. In fact, when I read a client's energy field and see the possibilities of what they can allow into their life (notice I did not say predict the future), I view new relationships as "balls" or "orbs" of green coming in from the left which symbolizes allowing or receiving. I personally see all opportunities and energy arriving from the left side of a person's energy field.
Green represents relationships--relationships with God, self, and others--not just the romantic sort. Green within an energy field is a wonderful color for me to see! I associate green with abundance and new beginnings for both personal and professional growth.
Green is the color of the heart center, and therefore is the color for affairs of the heart. The heart center is related to more than just the heart. Other corresponding areas for the heart center, or "green energy," include the lungs, upper back, arms and hands, breasts, chest region and shoulders. Interestingly enough, all of the associations we have with relationships (not sex) have to do with those areas. In a sense, we share our "green" energy (our love) with each other through all those centers.
A good example is breast feeding. If a mother cannot actually breast feed, just holding an infant close and bottle feeding still provides the exchange of heart energy. (And on a side note, babies don't get ANY energy when the bottle is just propped up and left unattended.)
Holding hands with someone you love is also an exchange of heart energy because arms and hands are an extension of this center. Arms and hands represent giving and receiving love. Those who have weight issues with upper arms or large chests also have issues with allowing others close to their heart.
Green is a calming, trusting color. It resides between the realm of yellow, (representing self) and blue (representing truth and honesty). When you are true and honest with yourself, you are free to allow love into your life. Green is also a color of balance, as it has the warm properties of the lower three energy centers, as well as the cool properties of the higher three centers. I remember as a child looking at Christ on the cross during mass and thinking that "X" marked the spot for love, Well it does--it crosses directly over the heart center!
Green offers a sense of surrender, and is non-threatening to most of us. When there is a depletion of green energy in the auric field, it is always due to relationship issues. Orange energy, on the other hand, is associated with emotions and person-to-person relationships; however, green energy depicts how we "measure" ourselves by our relationships. We define our self worth (basically who we are) through comparisons between our relationships which can include self, family, colleagues, lovers, friends, our God, and even our animals.
Whenever we long for a relationship, we "leak" or deplete our green energy. Therefore, when someone comes along waving the green, we are automatically attracted! It works both ways: we are drawn to green or wear it because we need it replaced/restored, and we USE green because it "feels right." Ultimately, green represents establishing relationships and beginning anew.
I also see green as a color for networking. It is good for business when seeking out new clients or new partnerships. In a sense, you are "courting" new clients. When coupled with blue (the color of business) green can really shift your business. Try this visualization the next time you have an important meeting. Imagine a client's heart center, nice and green and open, before you even pitch an idea to them. Experiment and see how it can work to your advantage!
Start noticing the role of green in your own relationships and those around you. It is the color of courtship and offers the ability to provide a wonderful feeling of freedom and newness. Good luck on your courting!
Catherine Poole, is a well-respected, internationally known psychic/author and speaker. Educated as a graphic designer, she taught color theory and graphic design for more that fifteen years, including nine years at the University of Notre Dame. She has presented her color expertise in the U.S. and Europe on the uses and effects of color.
Catherine became known as "The Queen of Color" in the design world due to her unique ability to see into the human energy field. Look for her pending book Beyond Food, Fat and Fear, The Metaphysics of Weight Release (Llewellyn Worldwide Fall, 2009).
Catherine has a lucrative private practice in Abingdon, Virginia conducting sessions by phone or in person in her Abingdon office. Visit Catherine's website at http://www.CatherinePoole.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
A dear friend and wonderful colleague, Gene Monterastelli invited me as a guest on his radio show a while back, and I talked about the role of color in conjunction with EFT (emotional freedom technique). I gave a general overview of colors, and, like during many of my talks, an awareness of a particular color and its applications may suddenly appear.
Gene commented on an interesting online trend he had noticed relevant to individuals seeking a relationship: a reoccurring theme with the color green. Whether it was stated that "green" was a favorite color, or the profile itself reflected a green palette; whatever the application, it occurred often enough to capture his attention.
I even had to laugh because as we talked about his observations, I remembered that a recent movie with Jennifer Anniston entitled, "Love Happens," uses a marketing typography of green!
Green is the color of courtship. In fact, when I read a client's energy field and see the possibilities of what they can allow into their life (notice I did not say predict the future), I view new relationships as "balls" or "orbs" of green coming in from the left which symbolizes allowing or receiving. I personally see all opportunities and energy arriving from the left side of a person's energy field.
Green represents relationships--relationships with God, self, and others--not just the romantic sort. Green within an energy field is a wonderful color for me to see! I associate green with abundance and new beginnings for both personal and professional growth.
Green is the color of the heart center, and therefore is the color for affairs of the heart. The heart center is related to more than just the heart. Other corresponding areas for the heart center, or "green energy," include the lungs, upper back, arms and hands, breasts, chest region and shoulders. Interestingly enough, all of the associations we have with relationships (not sex) have to do with those areas. In a sense, we share our "green" energy (our love) with each other through all those centers.
A good example is breast feeding. If a mother cannot actually breast feed, just holding an infant close and bottle feeding still provides the exchange of heart energy. (And on a side note, babies don't get ANY energy when the bottle is just propped up and left unattended.)
Holding hands with someone you love is also an exchange of heart energy because arms and hands are an extension of this center. Arms and hands represent giving and receiving love. Those who have weight issues with upper arms or large chests also have issues with allowing others close to their heart.
Green is a calming, trusting color. It resides between the realm of yellow, (representing self) and blue (representing truth and honesty). When you are true and honest with yourself, you are free to allow love into your life. Green is also a color of balance, as it has the warm properties of the lower three energy centers, as well as the cool properties of the higher three centers. I remember as a child looking at Christ on the cross during mass and thinking that "X" marked the spot for love, Well it does--it crosses directly over the heart center!
Green offers a sense of surrender, and is non-threatening to most of us. When there is a depletion of green energy in the auric field, it is always due to relationship issues. Orange energy, on the other hand, is associated with emotions and person-to-person relationships; however, green energy depicts how we "measure" ourselves by our relationships. We define our self worth (basically who we are) through comparisons between our relationships which can include self, family, colleagues, lovers, friends, our God, and even our animals.
Whenever we long for a relationship, we "leak" or deplete our green energy. Therefore, when someone comes along waving the green, we are automatically attracted! It works both ways: we are drawn to green or wear it because we need it replaced/restored, and we USE green because it "feels right." Ultimately, green represents establishing relationships and beginning anew.
I also see green as a color for networking. It is good for business when seeking out new clients or new partnerships. In a sense, you are "courting" new clients. When coupled with blue (the color of business) green can really shift your business. Try this visualization the next time you have an important meeting. Imagine a client's heart center, nice and green and open, before you even pitch an idea to them. Experiment and see how it can work to your advantage!
Start noticing the role of green in your own relationships and those around you. It is the color of courtship and offers the ability to provide a wonderful feeling of freedom and newness. Good luck on your courting!
Catherine Poole, is a well-respected, internationally known psychic/author and speaker. Educated as a graphic designer, she taught color theory and graphic design for more that fifteen years, including nine years at the University of Notre Dame. She has presented her color expertise in the U.S. and Europe on the uses and effects of color.
Catherine became known as "The Queen of Color" in the design world due to her unique ability to see into the human energy field. Look for her pending book Beyond Food, Fat and Fear, The Metaphysics of Weight Release (Llewellyn Worldwide Fall, 2009).
Catherine has a lucrative private practice in Abingdon, Virginia conducting sessions by phone or in person in her Abingdon office. Visit Catherine's website at http://www.CatherinePoole.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Friday, February 5, 2010
Make Him Fall Head Over Heels For You - Keep it Simple
Do you want the power to make him fall head over heels for you? Are you ready to change your love life forever? Do you want to have a loving relationship? There are a lot of people who desire a loving relationship. You can have a relationship that has all of that and more. All you need to do is to make him fall head over heels for you using these simple tips.
Avoid sex.
The first thing that you need to do is avoid sex. You want to make sure that you are building up the relationship in such a way that it will last. The best way to do this is to build an emotional bond. An emotional bond is easiest to build when sex doesn't get in the way. Avoid sex and your relationship will go much better.
Touch him emotionally.
To build that emotional bond you should touch him emotionally. Often this has to do with him having fun, being supported, and being cared for. The better your emotional bond the better your relationship will be.
Accept him for who he is.
You want to make sure that you are accepting him for who he is. This isn't always easy and many women tend to see men for who they might be rather than who they are. You can't make him into anyone he doesn't want to be so if you are wanting a good relationship your best option is to accept him for who he is.
Become his friend.
Another important thing to do is to develop a relationship that will span time and more importantly that will make it through the hard times. The best way to do this is by working to become his friend. You want to build up a friendship because it will add strength to your relationship and make him love you all the more.
Follow his pace.
The final thing that you should be doing is making sure that you are going at a pace that is comfortable for him. You don't want to get carried away and move too quickly. This will only make him uncomfortable and when he is uncomfortable he is likely to put a wall up to protect himself from falling in love.
These are the things you should do to get him to fall head over heels in love with you. While they are simple, you will need to give them time to accomplish your goals. In the end you will discover that you have nothing to worry about and a great relationship that is forming.
Imagine what if you could make any man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you? Click Unforgettable Woman Advice and learn 77 Secrets that 99% of women have never heard. You have got to see this!
This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Avoid sex.
The first thing that you need to do is avoid sex. You want to make sure that you are building up the relationship in such a way that it will last. The best way to do this is to build an emotional bond. An emotional bond is easiest to build when sex doesn't get in the way. Avoid sex and your relationship will go much better.
Touch him emotionally.
To build that emotional bond you should touch him emotionally. Often this has to do with him having fun, being supported, and being cared for. The better your emotional bond the better your relationship will be.
Accept him for who he is.
You want to make sure that you are accepting him for who he is. This isn't always easy and many women tend to see men for who they might be rather than who they are. You can't make him into anyone he doesn't want to be so if you are wanting a good relationship your best option is to accept him for who he is.
Become his friend.
Another important thing to do is to develop a relationship that will span time and more importantly that will make it through the hard times. The best way to do this is by working to become his friend. You want to build up a friendship because it will add strength to your relationship and make him love you all the more.
Follow his pace.
The final thing that you should be doing is making sure that you are going at a pace that is comfortable for him. You don't want to get carried away and move too quickly. This will only make him uncomfortable and when he is uncomfortable he is likely to put a wall up to protect himself from falling in love.
These are the things you should do to get him to fall head over heels in love with you. While they are simple, you will need to give them time to accomplish your goals. In the end you will discover that you have nothing to worry about and a great relationship that is forming.
Imagine what if you could make any man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you? Click Unforgettable Woman Advice and learn 77 Secrets that 99% of women have never heard. You have got to see this!
This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Smart Dating Tips For Women - Improve Any Relationship With Compliments
As a former public speaking trainer, I had the challenging task of complimenting my students after they made 2-minute talks in front of our class. During the student's talk, I would search for something in their story that I admired, respected, liked, enjoyed, or appreciated. By consciously focusing on the good in the other person, I was able to give a sincere and highly-valued compliment by finding a positive quality and backing it up with evidence in their talk.
I've found that you can give honest and sincere compliment in your personal and professional lives just as easily as I did as a public speaking trainer. Here are some ways to help you get better at giving and receiving compliments so that you can begin building stronger relationships with other people in your own life:
1) GIVE COMPLIMENTS IMMEDIATELY:
If you respond quickly with a sincere compliment, the other person is not likely to feel that you are being premeditated and manipulative. The longer you wait to give a compliment, the more it seems forced or out of place. That's why it's important to strike while the iron is hot or to give your compliment before the emotion has long passed.
2) SPEAK IN SIMPLE TERMS:
If your compliment is too complicated, it can sound premeditated or designed to shift the focus away from the recipient and onto you, the giver. If the compliment is too over-the-top, then the receiver may feel uncomfortable with the compliment and doubt its authenticity or suspect your motive. The best thing to do here is to find a specific piece of evidence to justify your compliment and say it with the appropriate level of emotion.
3) FIND THE MORE UNIQUE COMPLIMENT:
The rule of thumb here is that the rarer compliment, the more valuable it will be perceived. In other words, if you want to impact another person with your compliment make sure that you don't state the obvious. Instead, identify something that is underappreciated, overlooked, or misunderstood about the other person in order to have a more highly-valued compliment. In addition, make sure that you don't overdo your compliments especially with people who you are out of rapport with. If you do, these people will naturally suspect that you're being what my younger friends call a "suck up."
4) MAKE IT A PUBLIC COMPLIMENT:
If the situation is appropriate, feel free to make your compliment in the presence of others. This will often have a more powerful effect on the receiver of your compliment than by just showing your appreciation in private. When I'm in a casual situation, I usually mix in a comment like, "I normally don't say this kind of thing but...." I do it this way to guarantee that the compliment is recognized without making it seem like I'm trying to take the credit for being such a nice guy.
5) TRY PUTTING IT IN WRITING:
Sometimes a message of support or appreciation in writing on a card or memo may have a more powerful and lasting effect on the recipient. You never know how many times a person may re-read and re-experience the joy of well-chosen words of kindness in their own privacy. I always keep a file of cards, notes, and emails from people who have complimented me in both my writing and tourism fields. Sometime I need to reread these kind words whenever I get down or forget about those who I do help.
6) FIND A WIDE ARRAY OF GOOD THINGS TO SAY:
Look for compliments in either: 1) appearance, 2) actions, 3) possessions, 4) character traits, or 5) sense of style or good taste. There are plenty of good things to compliment a person on, if you know where to look. For example, I am especially sensitive to people who appreciate my positive character traits (honesty, enthusiasm, warmth) or my tastes in possessions (cars, ties, investments) and lifestyle (restaurants, vacations, reads).
7) PASS ALONG GOOD NEWS:
A third-party compliment is when you pass along good news from another source. You do this by telling how other people have been impressed by an individual. By being specific and giving details, you can give the gift of a subtle sincere compliment even if you're not the original source. If anyone should be suspicious about this kind of compliment, it's easy to counter by saying, "It's not about me. I'm just the messenger passing something along."
8) ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS LIKE A GIFT:
When another person takes the time and effort to compliment you, don't toss it back in their face. Instead, be a gracious acceptor of the gift by simply making eye contact, smiling, and after a short pause saying "thank you." Otherwise, you may never receive another compliment from that person again. Even worse, you may hurt another person's feelings to the point where they don't want to associate with you much in the future.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Giving and receiving compliments is one of the simplest, yet most effective ways to improve your relationships with other people. It is also one of the most powerful mental and emotional shifts that any person can make for themselves in order to change their lives for the better.
Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love
http://www.SteveNakamoto.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
I've found that you can give honest and sincere compliment in your personal and professional lives just as easily as I did as a public speaking trainer. Here are some ways to help you get better at giving and receiving compliments so that you can begin building stronger relationships with other people in your own life:
1) GIVE COMPLIMENTS IMMEDIATELY:
If you respond quickly with a sincere compliment, the other person is not likely to feel that you are being premeditated and manipulative. The longer you wait to give a compliment, the more it seems forced or out of place. That's why it's important to strike while the iron is hot or to give your compliment before the emotion has long passed.
2) SPEAK IN SIMPLE TERMS:
If your compliment is too complicated, it can sound premeditated or designed to shift the focus away from the recipient and onto you, the giver. If the compliment is too over-the-top, then the receiver may feel uncomfortable with the compliment and doubt its authenticity or suspect your motive. The best thing to do here is to find a specific piece of evidence to justify your compliment and say it with the appropriate level of emotion.
3) FIND THE MORE UNIQUE COMPLIMENT:
The rule of thumb here is that the rarer compliment, the more valuable it will be perceived. In other words, if you want to impact another person with your compliment make sure that you don't state the obvious. Instead, identify something that is underappreciated, overlooked, or misunderstood about the other person in order to have a more highly-valued compliment. In addition, make sure that you don't overdo your compliments especially with people who you are out of rapport with. If you do, these people will naturally suspect that you're being what my younger friends call a "suck up."
4) MAKE IT A PUBLIC COMPLIMENT:
If the situation is appropriate, feel free to make your compliment in the presence of others. This will often have a more powerful effect on the receiver of your compliment than by just showing your appreciation in private. When I'm in a casual situation, I usually mix in a comment like, "I normally don't say this kind of thing but...." I do it this way to guarantee that the compliment is recognized without making it seem like I'm trying to take the credit for being such a nice guy.
5) TRY PUTTING IT IN WRITING:
Sometimes a message of support or appreciation in writing on a card or memo may have a more powerful and lasting effect on the recipient. You never know how many times a person may re-read and re-experience the joy of well-chosen words of kindness in their own privacy. I always keep a file of cards, notes, and emails from people who have complimented me in both my writing and tourism fields. Sometime I need to reread these kind words whenever I get down or forget about those who I do help.
6) FIND A WIDE ARRAY OF GOOD THINGS TO SAY:
Look for compliments in either: 1) appearance, 2) actions, 3) possessions, 4) character traits, or 5) sense of style or good taste. There are plenty of good things to compliment a person on, if you know where to look. For example, I am especially sensitive to people who appreciate my positive character traits (honesty, enthusiasm, warmth) or my tastes in possessions (cars, ties, investments) and lifestyle (restaurants, vacations, reads).
7) PASS ALONG GOOD NEWS:
A third-party compliment is when you pass along good news from another source. You do this by telling how other people have been impressed by an individual. By being specific and giving details, you can give the gift of a subtle sincere compliment even if you're not the original source. If anyone should be suspicious about this kind of compliment, it's easy to counter by saying, "It's not about me. I'm just the messenger passing something along."
8) ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS LIKE A GIFT:
When another person takes the time and effort to compliment you, don't toss it back in their face. Instead, be a gracious acceptor of the gift by simply making eye contact, smiling, and after a short pause saying "thank you." Otherwise, you may never receive another compliment from that person again. Even worse, you may hurt another person's feelings to the point where they don't want to associate with you much in the future.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Giving and receiving compliments is one of the simplest, yet most effective ways to improve your relationships with other people. It is also one of the most powerful mental and emotional shifts that any person can make for themselves in order to change their lives for the better.
Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love
http://www.SteveNakamoto.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
Smart Dating Tips For Women - Create Unshakable Convictions Of The Heart
For passionate, romantic people, getting attracted to someone and falling in love is fun and easy. However, the harder part for these people is staying in love by making the relationship work. While all of that process may not seem like fun, the challenge of making a relationship work is the time-tested path to happiness and fulfillment.
The following ideas are designed to help people establish the conviction that causes couples to give abundantly to their partner so the relationship will be enhanced:
• Use loving words, gestures, and actions.
Give sincere appreciation to your mate by what you say and do. While conventional wisdom says that actions speak louder than words, make sure that you don't let your actions do all of the talking either. Well-chosen words and thoughtful small acts can often strike a deeper chord with your partner than an infrequent grand gesture of love.
• Fill each other's needs.
Do your best to give in a variety of different ways to your partner. There will be times when an act of kindness will be more greatly appreciated than an act of passion. Your mate may be in a place where he needs to feel more connected or understood than at other times. The key is to be the one who fills your partner's most sensitive needs in a style that is uniquely you. Otherwise, a lack of sensitivity may cause an unenlightened love partner to go outside of the relationship in order to have his emotional needs filled by someone else. This can lead to negative consequences for both of you.
• Ask for what you want.
Your partner is not a mind reader. If you're not getting your emotional needs filled, you'll have to ask for his assistance. However, asking must be done correctly or else it will be construed as you just being demanding. To help you ask more intelligently, here are some key things to consider: (1) ask at an appropriate time, (2) ask for permission to ask, (3) ask specifically for what you want, (4) ask by stating what's in it for him, (5) ask in a sensitive, loving way, (6) ask with a higher purpose in mind, and (7) ask with the courage and conviction of knowing that this is the right thing to do. Think of asking for what you want as a form of feedback that is necessary in order to keep your relationship correctly on track towards excellence.
• Choose love over being right.
Often in our relationships, we become fixated on what's wrong or needs to be improved. Sometimes we even withhold our love until certain conditions are met by our partners. But most importantly, we must realize that our basic love for each other can be lost in the daily struggle over small issues. When we begin to understand that this destructive habit is occurring, it's important to choose the higher value of love (kindness, caring, trust, patience) over the lower value of being right or getting your way on insignificant things.
• Never break the trust.
Some people believe that they have to go outside of their relationship in order to have their emotional needs filled. This may be appropriate in some cases, but clear boundaries must be drawn. If these needs involve some sort of immoral behavior, like having an affair, then feelings of betrayal may completely destroy the relationship. It's often too late and not enough to apologize after the fact. A wise partner realizes that trust is like tissue in the wind; once torn it can never be returned to its original pristine state. Always remember that destroying trust is a relationship deal-breaker for many people.
• Don't ever threaten the relationship.
When things go wrong in a love relationship, it's a common but unwise practice to threaten to leave your partner. We tend to think that if something is not working to our satisfaction, then someone is to blame. At that point, we then will typically place the blame on the other person without enough regard for our own contributions to the problem. If creating fear in a partner doesn't get them to change to our liking, we can be tempted to look elsewhere towards greener pastures. A wiser choice is to discipline your thinking in this area. Creating uncertainty in a relationship is a guaranteed way of stopping the flow of love. Once this happens, a downward spiral of resentment and poor communications leads to regrettable actions and irreversible negative consequences.
• Schedule and create special moments to treasure.
Smart life-management strategies include making sure that you and your partner have enough quality time together. You can prevent neglect from ruining your romance by scheduling regular date nights, weekend getaways, and memorable vacations throughout the year. These special moments together can revitalize your love for each other. In addition, be on the lookout for romantic opportunities in your normal day-to-day life which can be made extra special with a little awareness and creativity.
• Agree on a higher standard for your relationship.
If you give your relationship a fine reputation to live up to in your daily lives together, that standard will pull you through many challenging times. While others around you may accept their substandard, mediocre relationships, you and your partner can take ownership of the situation and say something like, "This challenge isn't really about us. We have come too far together to let this obstacle stand in our way. Our relationship is above all of this junk. Together, we will find a way to get through this thing. Every challenge presents us with the seeds of opportunity to grow together and become more emotionally mature." By maintaining a high standard for your relationship, you can rise above the petty bickering and deal effectively with the issues that really matter.
• Become full-time love partners with exceptions.
In most cases, the type of relationship that offers full commitment and the freedom to grow in other healthy areas is what I call "full-time partners with exceptions." In this arrangement, the two love-partners share the heart of a couple, but allow space for each person to pursue key individual interests. The amount of the exception is what has to be agreed upon between the two people in the relationship. What seems to happen frequently is that the woman will feel she is a "full-time partner only" and that her man is not contributing at the same level of commitment. This probably means that the man has to cut down on his amount of exceptions and convince his partner that his heart is fully committed to her. She, on the other hand, should become less dependent and branch out on her own in a few areas that are of particular value and interest to her. Keep in mind that a woman who appears too needy and dependent is not appreciated or desired by the overwhelming majority of men.
By creating unshakable convictions of the heart, a couple can remove any doubt about the future and create a steady flow of love that re-energizes the relationship.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Dating sucks when couples create doubt in each other and the relationship by expressing careless remarks and making unwise decisions. But dating rocks when both love partners are completely certain about their love for each other and show it through their consistent daily actions. Then they will anticipate their future together with growing enthusiasm.
Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love
http://www.SteveNakamoto.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
The following ideas are designed to help people establish the conviction that causes couples to give abundantly to their partner so the relationship will be enhanced:
• Use loving words, gestures, and actions.
Give sincere appreciation to your mate by what you say and do. While conventional wisdom says that actions speak louder than words, make sure that you don't let your actions do all of the talking either. Well-chosen words and thoughtful small acts can often strike a deeper chord with your partner than an infrequent grand gesture of love.
• Fill each other's needs.
Do your best to give in a variety of different ways to your partner. There will be times when an act of kindness will be more greatly appreciated than an act of passion. Your mate may be in a place where he needs to feel more connected or understood than at other times. The key is to be the one who fills your partner's most sensitive needs in a style that is uniquely you. Otherwise, a lack of sensitivity may cause an unenlightened love partner to go outside of the relationship in order to have his emotional needs filled by someone else. This can lead to negative consequences for both of you.
• Ask for what you want.
Your partner is not a mind reader. If you're not getting your emotional needs filled, you'll have to ask for his assistance. However, asking must be done correctly or else it will be construed as you just being demanding. To help you ask more intelligently, here are some key things to consider: (1) ask at an appropriate time, (2) ask for permission to ask, (3) ask specifically for what you want, (4) ask by stating what's in it for him, (5) ask in a sensitive, loving way, (6) ask with a higher purpose in mind, and (7) ask with the courage and conviction of knowing that this is the right thing to do. Think of asking for what you want as a form of feedback that is necessary in order to keep your relationship correctly on track towards excellence.
• Choose love over being right.
Often in our relationships, we become fixated on what's wrong or needs to be improved. Sometimes we even withhold our love until certain conditions are met by our partners. But most importantly, we must realize that our basic love for each other can be lost in the daily struggle over small issues. When we begin to understand that this destructive habit is occurring, it's important to choose the higher value of love (kindness, caring, trust, patience) over the lower value of being right or getting your way on insignificant things.
• Never break the trust.
Some people believe that they have to go outside of their relationship in order to have their emotional needs filled. This may be appropriate in some cases, but clear boundaries must be drawn. If these needs involve some sort of immoral behavior, like having an affair, then feelings of betrayal may completely destroy the relationship. It's often too late and not enough to apologize after the fact. A wise partner realizes that trust is like tissue in the wind; once torn it can never be returned to its original pristine state. Always remember that destroying trust is a relationship deal-breaker for many people.
• Don't ever threaten the relationship.
When things go wrong in a love relationship, it's a common but unwise practice to threaten to leave your partner. We tend to think that if something is not working to our satisfaction, then someone is to blame. At that point, we then will typically place the blame on the other person without enough regard for our own contributions to the problem. If creating fear in a partner doesn't get them to change to our liking, we can be tempted to look elsewhere towards greener pastures. A wiser choice is to discipline your thinking in this area. Creating uncertainty in a relationship is a guaranteed way of stopping the flow of love. Once this happens, a downward spiral of resentment and poor communications leads to regrettable actions and irreversible negative consequences.
• Schedule and create special moments to treasure.
Smart life-management strategies include making sure that you and your partner have enough quality time together. You can prevent neglect from ruining your romance by scheduling regular date nights, weekend getaways, and memorable vacations throughout the year. These special moments together can revitalize your love for each other. In addition, be on the lookout for romantic opportunities in your normal day-to-day life which can be made extra special with a little awareness and creativity.
• Agree on a higher standard for your relationship.
If you give your relationship a fine reputation to live up to in your daily lives together, that standard will pull you through many challenging times. While others around you may accept their substandard, mediocre relationships, you and your partner can take ownership of the situation and say something like, "This challenge isn't really about us. We have come too far together to let this obstacle stand in our way. Our relationship is above all of this junk. Together, we will find a way to get through this thing. Every challenge presents us with the seeds of opportunity to grow together and become more emotionally mature." By maintaining a high standard for your relationship, you can rise above the petty bickering and deal effectively with the issues that really matter.
• Become full-time love partners with exceptions.
In most cases, the type of relationship that offers full commitment and the freedom to grow in other healthy areas is what I call "full-time partners with exceptions." In this arrangement, the two love-partners share the heart of a couple, but allow space for each person to pursue key individual interests. The amount of the exception is what has to be agreed upon between the two people in the relationship. What seems to happen frequently is that the woman will feel she is a "full-time partner only" and that her man is not contributing at the same level of commitment. This probably means that the man has to cut down on his amount of exceptions and convince his partner that his heart is fully committed to her. She, on the other hand, should become less dependent and branch out on her own in a few areas that are of particular value and interest to her. Keep in mind that a woman who appears too needy and dependent is not appreciated or desired by the overwhelming majority of men.
By creating unshakable convictions of the heart, a couple can remove any doubt about the future and create a steady flow of love that re-energizes the relationship.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Dating sucks when couples create doubt in each other and the relationship by expressing careless remarks and making unwise decisions. But dating rocks when both love partners are completely certain about their love for each other and show it through their consistent daily actions. Then they will anticipate their future together with growing enthusiasm.
Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love
http://www.SteveNakamoto.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Smart Dating Tips For Women - Manage Your Emotional Upsets!
Almost all upsets are externally triggered, but internally driven. So it's not what happens to you that matters. It's how you choose to respond that is important.
The following are questions to help you get a better handle on your emotions whenever adversity or stress causes you to want to lash back unwisely:
• How small is this act in the grand scheme of life?
A cardiologist was once asked for his advice for reducing the stress that leads to strokes and heart attacks. He replied, "Rule #1: Don't sweat the small stuff. Rule #2: It's all small stuff." We often have to be reminded about how small our personal worries can be in comparison to the bigger issues of life. At the same time, realize that life is too short to be wasting your major energies on minor issues. Whenever you're faced with a potential argument, shrink it down to size by contrasting it with the more important issues of your life.
• Will this really matter much a year from now?
What seems significant in the moment may in fact be minor in retrospect. If you move ahead in time and look back on today, you may be able to regain your perspective on the current issue. You could find that once again you're faced with a situation where you have put too much emotion on too minor a subject. By adding the time perspective of one year, you may be able to shrink the intensity of the current issue under debate.
• What have you respected, liked, trusted, or admired about this person in the past?
Sometimes you have to be reminded of what is great about the person you're dealing with. That way, you can realize that they're not all bad, and might even be wonderful. We're all guilty of doing or saying stupid things. It's smart to give those we've appreciated in the past an occasional break for minor screw-ups.
• Was this act really intended to harm you?
If you want to protect yourself from the actions and opinions of others, realize this fact immediately: People do things first and foremost for their own benefit. Also understand that what's important or real to you may not be the same for someone else. Therefore, expect people to choose the quickest, easiest, or least painful pathway in order to gain pleasure or avoid pain. Rarely is an act intentionally meant to harm another person. It could just be that there is some kind of benefit for the one who is behind it. Remember that in almost all cases, men have no intentions of causing a woman they love any kind of real suffering.
• Does this kind of thing happen all of the time?
Repeated intentional acts of meanness should be promptly reprimanded, but an occasional mess-up should be given a temporary pass. Even when things do happen repeatedly, it may still be wise to refrain from saying the trigger phrase, "You always do that!" If you want to prevent your disagreements from escalating out of control, be sure to measure the frequency of an unpleasant act accurately.
• What is the other side of the story?
There's a saying that goes, "No matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides." In order to handle any kind of problem, it's important to gather all of the facts first. That way, you can acquire an understanding of the other side of the conflict. If you can't find that opposing perspective, delay your judgments and avoid jumping to conclusions. Hear out the other person so that you have a chance to evaluate the situation with more precision and respond in ways that demonstrate your increasing emotional maturity.
• How could this act be appropriate or even useful?
As wise and caring adults, we shouldn't react or respond hostilely when someone's actions are not intentional, excessive, and inappropriate for the situation at hand. And if we can see a long-term benefit from a short-term setback, we are able to convert the negatives we receive into positives. When there is indeed a real problem related to their actions, just make your perspective and needs clear to them in a cooperative manner.
• How can you vent the anger in a more constructive way?
Emotional upsets are stored in our physical bodies where they can linger and destroy our health. We can release this damaging physical and emotional tension constructively by exercising or talking with a caring friend. The alternative is to vent your anger in unhealthy ways like drinking alcohol, overeating, or verbally bashing others. A better way to handle your upsets is to change your mental focus by doing something that you enjoy like shopping, reading, or watching a movie. Another way to vent is to delay your reactions until cooler heads can prevail. Realize that you have many choices to release your tensions, some of which are healthier for you than others. By being in a better state of mind and body, you'll handle your challenges with other people more effectively.
• What could be funny about this?
A creative alternative for handling upsets is to find the humor in an otherwise serious situation. If you're really good at this, you accomplish three vital things: (1) you break your pattern of physiology by putting a smile on your face and a spark of joy in your eyes, (2) you change your voice tones and breathing patterns by laughing out loud, and (3) you change the words you use by referring to the situation from that point forward as being either funny, ridiculous, outrageous, hilarious, silly, or stupid. One trick that I often use when faced with a tough challenge is to ask out loud, "Am I on freaking Candid Camera or what?"
By managing your upsets, you'll be able to prevent resentment from eating away at the love that you've worked so hard to enjoy. This process begins with a firm commitment on your part to respond in an emotionally mature manner instead of reacting foolishly.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Dating sucks when you have no control of your negative emotions and you gradually destroy the things you cherish so much in your love life. But dating rocks when you get a firm grip on your upsets and grow as a person who is deserving of respect, admiration, trust, and love.
Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love
http://www.SteveNakamoto.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
The following are questions to help you get a better handle on your emotions whenever adversity or stress causes you to want to lash back unwisely:
• How small is this act in the grand scheme of life?
A cardiologist was once asked for his advice for reducing the stress that leads to strokes and heart attacks. He replied, "Rule #1: Don't sweat the small stuff. Rule #2: It's all small stuff." We often have to be reminded about how small our personal worries can be in comparison to the bigger issues of life. At the same time, realize that life is too short to be wasting your major energies on minor issues. Whenever you're faced with a potential argument, shrink it down to size by contrasting it with the more important issues of your life.
• Will this really matter much a year from now?
What seems significant in the moment may in fact be minor in retrospect. If you move ahead in time and look back on today, you may be able to regain your perspective on the current issue. You could find that once again you're faced with a situation where you have put too much emotion on too minor a subject. By adding the time perspective of one year, you may be able to shrink the intensity of the current issue under debate.
• What have you respected, liked, trusted, or admired about this person in the past?
Sometimes you have to be reminded of what is great about the person you're dealing with. That way, you can realize that they're not all bad, and might even be wonderful. We're all guilty of doing or saying stupid things. It's smart to give those we've appreciated in the past an occasional break for minor screw-ups.
• Was this act really intended to harm you?
If you want to protect yourself from the actions and opinions of others, realize this fact immediately: People do things first and foremost for their own benefit. Also understand that what's important or real to you may not be the same for someone else. Therefore, expect people to choose the quickest, easiest, or least painful pathway in order to gain pleasure or avoid pain. Rarely is an act intentionally meant to harm another person. It could just be that there is some kind of benefit for the one who is behind it. Remember that in almost all cases, men have no intentions of causing a woman they love any kind of real suffering.
• Does this kind of thing happen all of the time?
Repeated intentional acts of meanness should be promptly reprimanded, but an occasional mess-up should be given a temporary pass. Even when things do happen repeatedly, it may still be wise to refrain from saying the trigger phrase, "You always do that!" If you want to prevent your disagreements from escalating out of control, be sure to measure the frequency of an unpleasant act accurately.
• What is the other side of the story?
There's a saying that goes, "No matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides." In order to handle any kind of problem, it's important to gather all of the facts first. That way, you can acquire an understanding of the other side of the conflict. If you can't find that opposing perspective, delay your judgments and avoid jumping to conclusions. Hear out the other person so that you have a chance to evaluate the situation with more precision and respond in ways that demonstrate your increasing emotional maturity.
• How could this act be appropriate or even useful?
As wise and caring adults, we shouldn't react or respond hostilely when someone's actions are not intentional, excessive, and inappropriate for the situation at hand. And if we can see a long-term benefit from a short-term setback, we are able to convert the negatives we receive into positives. When there is indeed a real problem related to their actions, just make your perspective and needs clear to them in a cooperative manner.
• How can you vent the anger in a more constructive way?
Emotional upsets are stored in our physical bodies where they can linger and destroy our health. We can release this damaging physical and emotional tension constructively by exercising or talking with a caring friend. The alternative is to vent your anger in unhealthy ways like drinking alcohol, overeating, or verbally bashing others. A better way to handle your upsets is to change your mental focus by doing something that you enjoy like shopping, reading, or watching a movie. Another way to vent is to delay your reactions until cooler heads can prevail. Realize that you have many choices to release your tensions, some of which are healthier for you than others. By being in a better state of mind and body, you'll handle your challenges with other people more effectively.
• What could be funny about this?
A creative alternative for handling upsets is to find the humor in an otherwise serious situation. If you're really good at this, you accomplish three vital things: (1) you break your pattern of physiology by putting a smile on your face and a spark of joy in your eyes, (2) you change your voice tones and breathing patterns by laughing out loud, and (3) you change the words you use by referring to the situation from that point forward as being either funny, ridiculous, outrageous, hilarious, silly, or stupid. One trick that I often use when faced with a tough challenge is to ask out loud, "Am I on freaking Candid Camera or what?"
By managing your upsets, you'll be able to prevent resentment from eating away at the love that you've worked so hard to enjoy. This process begins with a firm commitment on your part to respond in an emotionally mature manner instead of reacting foolishly.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Dating sucks when you have no control of your negative emotions and you gradually destroy the things you cherish so much in your love life. But dating rocks when you get a firm grip on your upsets and grow as a person who is deserving of respect, admiration, trust, and love.
Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love
http://www.SteveNakamoto.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
Smart Dating Tips For Women - Prevent Resentment From Building Up!
Problems are like weeds. They will pop up unexpectedly and attack the health of your love garden. Instead of being surprised by problems, anticipate their arrival in advance and know exactly how you're going to eliminate them.
The following helpful pointers are designed to help you handle any kind of relationship problem that comes your way with more control and effectiveness:
• See problems as temporary challenges
The first simple step is to refer to your "problems" from now on as "challenges." The word "challenge" implies that there is a workable solution that can be found with the proper mix of courage, determination, flexibility, discipline, knowledge, and skill. Challenges tend to be temporary in nature and require higher levels of performance in order to overcome them. If a couple can rise to the occasion and muster the will to succeed, then they will eventually find a way to restore and maintain their love for each other.
• Honestly admit your mistakes right away
One way to disarm a potentially difficult situation is to admit your mistakes quickly and emphatically. That way, you will give your partner the proper assurances that this problem will be approached in a more balanced manner in the future. Do this instead of trying to wage a one-sided attack on where he's been wrong. For the time being, make sure that you let your admission of the mistake stand alone without negating its value by saying something like "What I did was wrong and I am sincerely sorry, but...." (Don't add any excuses or tell him why he's a big part of the problem.) If you try the suggested approach, your partner may likely reciprocate back by admitting his mistakes as well.
• Attack the problem but not the person
Make sure that you separate the problem from the person. You want to reinforce the idea that you love the person, but you hate their bad behaviors. Along the same lines, never question the other person's intent and don't attack their character if you want to prevent an escalation of ill will. When dealing with men, realize that they sometimes do and say dumb things simply because they don't attach much significance to a particular action or its consequences. This is in contrast to how the typical woman would probably view it. If a playful guy thinks that something is no big deal, you can expect him to do or say almost anything.
• Can you handle the truth?
People often claim that they want to hear the absolute truth. However, can they really accept it without getting their feelings hurt? As a communicator, one tactful way of presenting a hard truth is to spend a lot of time explaining the nature of what is about to be said. That way, the intent of the message is less likely to be misconstrued. So establish the nature of a difficult discussion, get permission to share the details, and then freely state your truth.
A wise communicator will also follow up their statements with a reminder of why honesty is essential for the long-term health of any love relationship. Interestingly, how well people handle the truth creates a precedent on whether truths will be shared or omitted in the future. If you discover that a partner has been telling you a pack of lies, understand that part of the problem may be his perception that you can't handle the truth. In any case, people should know that it's best to stick with honesty. My feeling is that if the truth will destroy a relationship, so be it. Actually, the strange thing I've discovered is that the truth seldom blows up a relationship --- instead what is almost guaranteed to destroy the love connection is avoiding the truth, better known as lying or lying by omission.
• Don't be too negative
While it's true that most problems are negative in nature, it doesn't mean that we can't find some positive value in the process of overcoming them. Remind yourself that while there may be problems or imperfections in your relationship, there are still plenty of other things to be grateful about, too. In addition, discipline your thinking so that you clearly define your challenge and not make it appear worse than it actually is. The most important point here is that negative problems are handled best when you are in the most positive and constructive frame of mind.
• Focus on workable solutions
Put an immediate end to the pointless rehashing of a problem and move forward by focusing on workable solutions. By doing this, you will think about constructive responses rather than waste more time dwelling on what has already happened and can't be changed. The object here is to come up with a wide range of possible solutions for your particular relationship challenge and mutually decide on the best course of action to pursue. Put your energy where you'll get the best results and that's by focusing on the best solutions and creating a goal-achieving plan of actions.
• What is the larger objective?
If you can ask this question throughout the process of solving your relationship challenge, you will be able to keep your discussion on purpose. The larger objective may include such things as: (1) making sure that you don't take each other for granted, (2) improving communication, (3) learning more about your partner's beliefs about your relationship, and (4) learning how to grow as a couple, to name a few. The larger objective is always positive and is meant to bring happiness and fulfillment to both partners. In the heat of your battles, always come back to the larger objective so that you'll be reminded of how you will both benefit.
• Get professional help or get out
If you find that the weight of your problems becomes too heavy for you to handle, seek high-quality professional counseling. This may require getting help for yourself first and later getting help for your partner as well. Select a counselor who has a good track record for success and is naturally appealing to both partners. Still, sometimes we find that despite all of our efforts to repair the serious problems in a relationship, we fail to observe one or more of the following: (1) a willingness to seek any kind of help, (2) a willingness to be responsible, (3) a willingness to forgive, (4) a willingness to love, or (5) a willingness to even try. At that point, it's clearly time to get out.
You will arrive at your love destiny as a result of all of the choices that you make over time. Increase your chances for success by having a sensible and reliable system in place for handling your relationship challenges. That way, you can avoid unnecessarily harsh clashes and prevent hard feelings from destroying your love.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Dating sucks when problems crop up repeatedly in your love life and send you into an emotional tailspin. But dating rocks when you can anticipate and handle every kind of challenging situation with wisdom, maturity, control, and love.
Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love
http://www.SteveNakamoto.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
The following helpful pointers are designed to help you handle any kind of relationship problem that comes your way with more control and effectiveness:
• See problems as temporary challenges
The first simple step is to refer to your "problems" from now on as "challenges." The word "challenge" implies that there is a workable solution that can be found with the proper mix of courage, determination, flexibility, discipline, knowledge, and skill. Challenges tend to be temporary in nature and require higher levels of performance in order to overcome them. If a couple can rise to the occasion and muster the will to succeed, then they will eventually find a way to restore and maintain their love for each other.
• Honestly admit your mistakes right away
One way to disarm a potentially difficult situation is to admit your mistakes quickly and emphatically. That way, you will give your partner the proper assurances that this problem will be approached in a more balanced manner in the future. Do this instead of trying to wage a one-sided attack on where he's been wrong. For the time being, make sure that you let your admission of the mistake stand alone without negating its value by saying something like "What I did was wrong and I am sincerely sorry, but...." (Don't add any excuses or tell him why he's a big part of the problem.) If you try the suggested approach, your partner may likely reciprocate back by admitting his mistakes as well.
• Attack the problem but not the person
Make sure that you separate the problem from the person. You want to reinforce the idea that you love the person, but you hate their bad behaviors. Along the same lines, never question the other person's intent and don't attack their character if you want to prevent an escalation of ill will. When dealing with men, realize that they sometimes do and say dumb things simply because they don't attach much significance to a particular action or its consequences. This is in contrast to how the typical woman would probably view it. If a playful guy thinks that something is no big deal, you can expect him to do or say almost anything.
• Can you handle the truth?
People often claim that they want to hear the absolute truth. However, can they really accept it without getting their feelings hurt? As a communicator, one tactful way of presenting a hard truth is to spend a lot of time explaining the nature of what is about to be said. That way, the intent of the message is less likely to be misconstrued. So establish the nature of a difficult discussion, get permission to share the details, and then freely state your truth.
A wise communicator will also follow up their statements with a reminder of why honesty is essential for the long-term health of any love relationship. Interestingly, how well people handle the truth creates a precedent on whether truths will be shared or omitted in the future. If you discover that a partner has been telling you a pack of lies, understand that part of the problem may be his perception that you can't handle the truth. In any case, people should know that it's best to stick with honesty. My feeling is that if the truth will destroy a relationship, so be it. Actually, the strange thing I've discovered is that the truth seldom blows up a relationship --- instead what is almost guaranteed to destroy the love connection is avoiding the truth, better known as lying or lying by omission.
• Don't be too negative
While it's true that most problems are negative in nature, it doesn't mean that we can't find some positive value in the process of overcoming them. Remind yourself that while there may be problems or imperfections in your relationship, there are still plenty of other things to be grateful about, too. In addition, discipline your thinking so that you clearly define your challenge and not make it appear worse than it actually is. The most important point here is that negative problems are handled best when you are in the most positive and constructive frame of mind.
• Focus on workable solutions
Put an immediate end to the pointless rehashing of a problem and move forward by focusing on workable solutions. By doing this, you will think about constructive responses rather than waste more time dwelling on what has already happened and can't be changed. The object here is to come up with a wide range of possible solutions for your particular relationship challenge and mutually decide on the best course of action to pursue. Put your energy where you'll get the best results and that's by focusing on the best solutions and creating a goal-achieving plan of actions.
• What is the larger objective?
If you can ask this question throughout the process of solving your relationship challenge, you will be able to keep your discussion on purpose. The larger objective may include such things as: (1) making sure that you don't take each other for granted, (2) improving communication, (3) learning more about your partner's beliefs about your relationship, and (4) learning how to grow as a couple, to name a few. The larger objective is always positive and is meant to bring happiness and fulfillment to both partners. In the heat of your battles, always come back to the larger objective so that you'll be reminded of how you will both benefit.
• Get professional help or get out
If you find that the weight of your problems becomes too heavy for you to handle, seek high-quality professional counseling. This may require getting help for yourself first and later getting help for your partner as well. Select a counselor who has a good track record for success and is naturally appealing to both partners. Still, sometimes we find that despite all of our efforts to repair the serious problems in a relationship, we fail to observe one or more of the following: (1) a willingness to seek any kind of help, (2) a willingness to be responsible, (3) a willingness to forgive, (4) a willingness to love, or (5) a willingness to even try. At that point, it's clearly time to get out.
You will arrive at your love destiny as a result of all of the choices that you make over time. Increase your chances for success by having a sensible and reliable system in place for handling your relationship challenges. That way, you can avoid unnecessarily harsh clashes and prevent hard feelings from destroying your love.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Dating sucks when problems crop up repeatedly in your love life and send you into an emotional tailspin. But dating rocks when you can anticipate and handle every kind of challenging situation with wisdom, maturity, control, and love.
Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love
http://www.SteveNakamoto.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
HOME :: Relationships / Dating Smart Dating Tips For Women - Expand His Interest In You And The Relationship!
Expand rather than limit your partner's interest in you and the relationship by developing common interests that you can both enjoy together. Remaining stuck in too many activities that a man doesn't like will surely reduce your time with him. Be smart and don't let your relationship burn out by forcing him into excessive involuntary chores.
The following suggestions are designed to help you persuade your man to go from an elusive part-time boyfriend to a satisfied full-time love partner:
STAY ATTRACTIVE IN THE SAME WAYS
In competitive sports, there is a common phrase that says, "Go with what got you there." In a romantic-love relationship, it is equally important to retain the appeal that initially attracted the man into your life. That means continuing to take care of your appearance, being warm and receptive, and remembering to be thoughtful and considerate like you were at the beginning. Don't ever lower the standards in your relationship by taking each other for granted.
TAKE PART IN SOME OF HIS INTERESTS
It's a good idea for both partners to be able to visit the other person's world periodically. This prevents couples from living separate lives or drifting too far apart. If you show little or no interest whatsoever in his activities, you are limiting the relationship you have with each other.
GET ALONG WELL WITH HIS INNER CIRCLE
Do your best to maintain good relations with your partner's friends and family. Although you may not approve of their influence on your man, you'll score more points by aligning yourself with these folks rather than confronting them. Try to avoid being the kind of woman who gets between a man and the people he likes and associates with.
STOP ANY HIGH-MAINTENANCE EMOTIONAL TENDENCIES
If it takes too much to keep a woman happy, then a man will often start building resentment towards her. A woman has to realize that it is neither natural nor healthy for a man to be forced to excessively prove his love because of her emotional insecurities. What you gain in assurances will be lost in residual animosity.
DON'T LET YOUR UP-KEEP BECOME YOUR DOWNFALL
Most men are concerned about dating women who spend tons of money or require a lot of material things. While a man may appear generous in the courting stage, it's more likely that he's also gauging how much it costs to keep the woman happy with her lifestyle. A woman who convinces a man that she's sensible with her money will help alleviate his ever-present financial concerns.
LEAVE HIM ALONE PERIODICALLY TO RECHARGE
I once saw Jerry Seinfeld do a stand-up comedy routine where he offered women this simple piece of marital advice: If you want to keep a man happy, leave him alone. As funny as it sounds, it is still true in the context of making sure that a man has the right balance in his life. Typically a man will need to juggle the time he has for you, work, other people, and himself. If a man truly loves you, rest assured that this "time to recharge" will probably be short in duration and only occasional in frequency. The main thing to remember is that you will score big points by understanding his occasional need to --- as John Gray, the author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus says --- "go into his cave."
BE WILLING TO EXCHANGE CONTROL FOR INCREASED PASSION
While we want 100% of a love partner's commitment to a relationship, it's not the same as demanding 100% of their time. Whatever you gain by forcing your partner to do what is not of any redeeming value, you'll end up losing in resentment. Be willing to let go of control periodically to revive the energies of your partner. By doing so, you'll have a happier partner who will naturally reciprocate this back to you in multiple positive ways.
The philosophy of expanding rather than limiting a man's interest in you and the relationship allows the opportunity for your love to grow and it benefits both partners. This also provides an inviting scenario for otherwise commitment-fearing men.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Dating sucks when you try to limit a man's life or are unable to encourage him to spend much time with you. But dating rocks when you expand his interest wisely so that you both receive the long-term benefits of emotional security, personal growth, deep intimacy, and peace of mind.
Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.co
The following suggestions are designed to help you persuade your man to go from an elusive part-time boyfriend to a satisfied full-time love partner:
STAY ATTRACTIVE IN THE SAME WAYS
In competitive sports, there is a common phrase that says, "Go with what got you there." In a romantic-love relationship, it is equally important to retain the appeal that initially attracted the man into your life. That means continuing to take care of your appearance, being warm and receptive, and remembering to be thoughtful and considerate like you were at the beginning. Don't ever lower the standards in your relationship by taking each other for granted.
TAKE PART IN SOME OF HIS INTERESTS
It's a good idea for both partners to be able to visit the other person's world periodically. This prevents couples from living separate lives or drifting too far apart. If you show little or no interest whatsoever in his activities, you are limiting the relationship you have with each other.
GET ALONG WELL WITH HIS INNER CIRCLE
Do your best to maintain good relations with your partner's friends and family. Although you may not approve of their influence on your man, you'll score more points by aligning yourself with these folks rather than confronting them. Try to avoid being the kind of woman who gets between a man and the people he likes and associates with.
STOP ANY HIGH-MAINTENANCE EMOTIONAL TENDENCIES
If it takes too much to keep a woman happy, then a man will often start building resentment towards her. A woman has to realize that it is neither natural nor healthy for a man to be forced to excessively prove his love because of her emotional insecurities. What you gain in assurances will be lost in residual animosity.
DON'T LET YOUR UP-KEEP BECOME YOUR DOWNFALL
Most men are concerned about dating women who spend tons of money or require a lot of material things. While a man may appear generous in the courting stage, it's more likely that he's also gauging how much it costs to keep the woman happy with her lifestyle. A woman who convinces a man that she's sensible with her money will help alleviate his ever-present financial concerns.
LEAVE HIM ALONE PERIODICALLY TO RECHARGE
I once saw Jerry Seinfeld do a stand-up comedy routine where he offered women this simple piece of marital advice: If you want to keep a man happy, leave him alone. As funny as it sounds, it is still true in the context of making sure that a man has the right balance in his life. Typically a man will need to juggle the time he has for you, work, other people, and himself. If a man truly loves you, rest assured that this "time to recharge" will probably be short in duration and only occasional in frequency. The main thing to remember is that you will score big points by understanding his occasional need to --- as John Gray, the author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus says --- "go into his cave."
BE WILLING TO EXCHANGE CONTROL FOR INCREASED PASSION
While we want 100% of a love partner's commitment to a relationship, it's not the same as demanding 100% of their time. Whatever you gain by forcing your partner to do what is not of any redeeming value, you'll end up losing in resentment. Be willing to let go of control periodically to revive the energies of your partner. By doing so, you'll have a happier partner who will naturally reciprocate this back to you in multiple positive ways.
The philosophy of expanding rather than limiting a man's interest in you and the relationship allows the opportunity for your love to grow and it benefits both partners. This also provides an inviting scenario for otherwise commitment-fearing men.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Dating sucks when you try to limit a man's life or are unable to encourage him to spend much time with you. But dating rocks when you expand his interest wisely so that you both receive the long-term benefits of emotional security, personal growth, deep intimacy, and peace of mind.
Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.co
Does He Want to Be More Than Friends? How to Know
Does he want to be more than friends? Are you wondering what he wants from your relationship, but aren't sure? Do you need to know for your peace of mind? There are times when you have a friend and you find yourself asking whether or not he wants more. It may be that you like him, or that you just wonder what is going on in his head. You can find out if he wants to be more than friends by asking these questions.
1. Does he flirt with you?
Flirting is a good way to know whether or not he is interested in you. If he wants to be more than friends it is likely that he will flirt with you and show you signs of his interest. While he may still want a relationship with you even if he doesn't flirt, it is the first thing to consider. If he does flirt you should evaluate how he acts with others.
2. Does he try to spend more time with you?
There are a number of different ways that he might try to spend more time with you. You want to know if he is working on doing any of these. Does he go places you might be, spend time with mutual friends, or spend time with your group of friends?
3. Does he ask to spend more time with you?
Is he working on spending more time with you by deliberately asking? If he asks to spend time with you as friends or out on a date, there is a good chance that he is wanting more than just friendship.
4. Is he working to get to know you?
Friendships are usually rather surface. Only our closest of friendships involve a deep knowledge and understanding of each other. If he is getting to know you on a deeper level then there is a possibility it is because he is interested in more with you.
While none of these questions will give you the answer that you seek on their own, each is important to evaluating what it is he wants. You should be honest and answer each question to discover his true intentions. When you do that you will find out if he wants to be more than friends.
Imagine what if you could make any man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you? Click Unforgettable Woman Advice and learn 77 Secrets that 99% of women have never heard. You have got to see this!
This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
1. Does he flirt with you?
Flirting is a good way to know whether or not he is interested in you. If he wants to be more than friends it is likely that he will flirt with you and show you signs of his interest. While he may still want a relationship with you even if he doesn't flirt, it is the first thing to consider. If he does flirt you should evaluate how he acts with others.
2. Does he try to spend more time with you?
There are a number of different ways that he might try to spend more time with you. You want to know if he is working on doing any of these. Does he go places you might be, spend time with mutual friends, or spend time with your group of friends?
3. Does he ask to spend more time with you?
Is he working on spending more time with you by deliberately asking? If he asks to spend time with you as friends or out on a date, there is a good chance that he is wanting more than just friendship.
4. Is he working to get to know you?
Friendships are usually rather surface. Only our closest of friendships involve a deep knowledge and understanding of each other. If he is getting to know you on a deeper level then there is a possibility it is because he is interested in more with you.
While none of these questions will give you the answer that you seek on their own, each is important to evaluating what it is he wants. You should be honest and answer each question to discover his true intentions. When you do that you will find out if he wants to be more than friends.
Imagine what if you could make any man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you? Click Unforgettable Woman Advice and learn 77 Secrets that 99% of women have never heard. You have got to see this!
This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
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