nullAs soon as you reach thirty, you might start thinking that you won't be having much luck in finding your dream man. But don't worry, being over thirty should not put you on the panic mode. You will be glad to find that there are a lot of decent, kind and available men who is looking for someone to love and that could just be you. You don't have to do anything drastic. Just get on with these proven dating tips for women over 30. These strategies are similar to dating tips for women in general which will give practical tips and eye opening insights for inspiration. Read more on relationship advice for women.
Dating Tips for Women Over 30
So how do think you will meet those wonderful men? These dating tips for women over 30 will tell you how.
Dating Tips for Women Over 30 #1
The first and the foremost tip is that you should not sound desperate. Desperation proves to be a total turn off for guys, so try to adjust your perception as well as your attitude. Do not think that being unmarried till this moment is a tragedy but think of it as a God send opportunity for another chance to make the right decision. You will be surprised to see how much you have matured since you were in your twenties. Also don't try to have a preconceived image of your Prince Charming like those of a favorite celebrity. Don't make the mistake of trying to change your man to fit your preconceived image. It's high time to get real.
Dating Tips for Women Over 30 #2
"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder". Looking beautiful is every woman's birthright. If you are hoping to get the man of your dreams and feel that your age is working against you, make sure that you at least try to look like presentable and feminine. Take proper care of your appearance, maintain good hygiene. Wear dresses that makes you look stylish and attractive.
Dating Tips for Women Over 30 #3
Lastly, if you are really hoping to win a husband, make sure that you are really serious or genuine in your decision i.e. you are not wasting your time by dating guys until you find your Mr. Right or guys who are too young to commit or those who not established and cannot support even a family.
Dating Tips for Older women
Nowadays for women in their 50s and 40s, age does not matter while dating. You can find that any kind of relationships are workable regardless of whatever maybe their age, gender and social status. Dating tips for women over 50 are similar to dating tips for women over 40. By this stage these women are well established, confident and very well aware of their needs and demands. As a result they may also tend to have sky high egos. So try to check your egos and approach them with the right attitude. If you are are dating a younger man, the age question is definitely bound to crop up. But don't let that be a hindrance to your relationship. Talk to them and don't feel shy.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Survive a Break Up
nullBreak ups are never easy. You are a bundle of jealous, hurt, angry, resentful emotions. Your mood can swing from depression to bitter anger. The only thing you seem to think about is what went wrong, can I get him/her back or I’ll show him/her. The main theme in your life is ‘How can I feel better right NOW?’ Here are some suggestions that I hope will help.
1.Friends and Family. I know this may seem obvious but lean on your friends and family. Spend time doing things together, not just talking and thinking about the break up. If this isn’t enough, you may consider a support group or counseling.
2.Resist the urge to beg. You want them back but not at any price. At the time it may seem the right thing to do but think about it. In the long run they will lose respect for you. This doesn’t mean don’t try to work things out. If there is a chance you can work things out, go for it. However, if your partner has made it clear that in their eyes, the relationship is over, begging will not help and may hurt the situation.
3.Make a change in your life. Find a new way to spend your time. Take a class, join a gym, adopt a pet, or volunteer. Do anything that will make you feel good about yourself. Your ego is probably feeling bruised right now. Find a way to counteract that.
4.Understand your mistakes but also realize that you are not a failure. Don’t beat yourself up. If you made mistakes, then yes, learn from them but dwelling on what might have been won’t help. It takes two to make a relationship, it also takes two to end one. You weren’t the only one who made mistakes. It may not seem useful to you now, but a lot of times the things you learned from this experience will make your next relationship stronger, as long as you make the necessary changes.
5.Start Dating. You won’t feel like it at first, but don’t stay away from other people for an extended period of time. Going out with other people can help the healing process and boast your ego.
6.Don’t fall prey to others. There will be people trying to sell you this or that, guaranteed to win back your partner. Don’t let people take advantage of you while you are vulnerable. If you do buy something, understand that while there is a chance it could help, there is also a chance that it won’t.
7.Take up a hobby. Learn something new. There is probably something you’ve always wanted to try but never had the time. You have the time, do it.
8.Don’t rush into another relationship. While starting to date can help you feel better, it’s not a good idea to rush right into another relationship. Take time to heal before making any commitments or someone will probably end up getting hurt.
9.Avoid dwelling on it. I know it’s impossible not to think about it, but, if you find yourself doing so for an extended period of time, find a way to take your mind off of it. Call a friend; go to the gym, whatever comes to mind. If nothing seems to work, try this: Make a list of reasons why you are better off now. This could include I have time to do the things I want to do. I can date anyone I want to. I can find a partner who will appreciate me the way I am and stop wasting time on a doomed relationship. Think about the things they did that drove you crazy, because there are some. Don’t look back with rose colored glasses and only remember the good things. Don’t have the idea in your head that if only we were back together I would be happy. Wrong. Wouldn’t they have a lot to answer for if you did get back together? Leaving you was probably the biggest mistake they will ever make. Let them dwell on it, you move on!
10.Build your ego. I’ve touched on this already but it is very important. Find ways to feel better about yourself. This could be anything from getting a haircut to buying some new clothes. You could take a class on self improvement. If nothing else, you should do this: Make a list of things that make you a great person. Don’t sit there and tell me you can’t think of anything. I don’t buy it. Try again. Are you kind? Patient? Intelligent? Cook like a pro? Can fix anything? There are things that make you great. WRITE them down and whenever you feel low, read your list and add to it. You are you and you are great so don’t let anyone ever make you feel that you aren’t.
1.Friends and Family. I know this may seem obvious but lean on your friends and family. Spend time doing things together, not just talking and thinking about the break up. If this isn’t enough, you may consider a support group or counseling.
2.Resist the urge to beg. You want them back but not at any price. At the time it may seem the right thing to do but think about it. In the long run they will lose respect for you. This doesn’t mean don’t try to work things out. If there is a chance you can work things out, go for it. However, if your partner has made it clear that in their eyes, the relationship is over, begging will not help and may hurt the situation.
3.Make a change in your life. Find a new way to spend your time. Take a class, join a gym, adopt a pet, or volunteer. Do anything that will make you feel good about yourself. Your ego is probably feeling bruised right now. Find a way to counteract that.
4.Understand your mistakes but also realize that you are not a failure. Don’t beat yourself up. If you made mistakes, then yes, learn from them but dwelling on what might have been won’t help. It takes two to make a relationship, it also takes two to end one. You weren’t the only one who made mistakes. It may not seem useful to you now, but a lot of times the things you learned from this experience will make your next relationship stronger, as long as you make the necessary changes.
5.Start Dating. You won’t feel like it at first, but don’t stay away from other people for an extended period of time. Going out with other people can help the healing process and boast your ego.
6.Don’t fall prey to others. There will be people trying to sell you this or that, guaranteed to win back your partner. Don’t let people take advantage of you while you are vulnerable. If you do buy something, understand that while there is a chance it could help, there is also a chance that it won’t.
7.Take up a hobby. Learn something new. There is probably something you’ve always wanted to try but never had the time. You have the time, do it.
8.Don’t rush into another relationship. While starting to date can help you feel better, it’s not a good idea to rush right into another relationship. Take time to heal before making any commitments or someone will probably end up getting hurt.
9.Avoid dwelling on it. I know it’s impossible not to think about it, but, if you find yourself doing so for an extended period of time, find a way to take your mind off of it. Call a friend; go to the gym, whatever comes to mind. If nothing seems to work, try this: Make a list of reasons why you are better off now. This could include I have time to do the things I want to do. I can date anyone I want to. I can find a partner who will appreciate me the way I am and stop wasting time on a doomed relationship. Think about the things they did that drove you crazy, because there are some. Don’t look back with rose colored glasses and only remember the good things. Don’t have the idea in your head that if only we were back together I would be happy. Wrong. Wouldn’t they have a lot to answer for if you did get back together? Leaving you was probably the biggest mistake they will ever make. Let them dwell on it, you move on!
10.Build your ego. I’ve touched on this already but it is very important. Find ways to feel better about yourself. This could be anything from getting a haircut to buying some new clothes. You could take a class on self improvement. If nothing else, you should do this: Make a list of things that make you a great person. Don’t sit there and tell me you can’t think of anything. I don’t buy it. Try again. Are you kind? Patient? Intelligent? Cook like a pro? Can fix anything? There are things that make you great. WRITE them down and whenever you feel low, read your list and add to it. You are you and you are great so don’t let anyone ever make you feel that you aren’t.
7 Ways to Prepare For a Relationship
If you haven't been in a relationship lately, you might have forgotten how to do it. Conversely, if you've just gotten out of one, you might be dragging along all that baggage. Either way, it's important to make sure you're prepared for a new relationship before you get into one. If you're not, you might end up reacting in ways that aren't too helpful. Here's a look at what you should do to prepare for a relationship that'll last.
1. Get into it for the right reasons. Are you dating because you're lonely or need to boost your ego? Do you feel like you have to get married before your biological clock runs out? These are bad reasons to get into a relationship, and don't spell success in your future. Make sure you're doing things for all the correct reasons if you want to avoid trouble.
2. Get rid of all your baggage. Sure, your past relationships have had issues. You might be scared of certain behaviors, certain your new partner is going to lie to you, or still sad about your ex. But you can't let those rule your new relationship - this is a new person. They're not responsible for anything that happened in the past.
3. Know what you want. Too many people who know they want a long term relationship settle for a short term one, thinking they'll be okay, or sure they can trick their partner into staying. Lots of people looking for something short get stuck in longer relationships out of guilt or obligation, too. If you know what you want out of a relationship, your chances of being happy will be a lot better.
4. Decide what you won't compromise. If you're very religious, sure about your career, or picky about certain lifestyle elements, you need to know it and be ready to stand fast. It's better not to get into a relationship that'll cause strife later on.
5. Make sure you have someone to talk to. When things are going well, you're going to want someone to chatter at about your new love. When they're not going so well, you might want a shoulder to cry on, an experienced friend who'll give advice, or just someone who'll listen to you rant. Before you start dating, make sure you've got support.
6. Look at your schedule. That might sound funny, until you realize your busy life doesn't have space for another person! Make sure you create room to hang out, have dates, and enjoy your time together without stress.
7. Be open to new things. No new person is going to be just like the last person you dated, and they're going to surprise you somehow. Be open to it and ready to have a good relationship!
Being prepared for a relationship can help prevent you from heart break. It is not fool proof and neither can it guarantee a lasting relationship but it can help you tick some of the boxes in your mind which will help you know whether you are ready to date again.
To gain more insights and tips on dating and relationships visit http://www.singlesstreetlife.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
1. Get into it for the right reasons. Are you dating because you're lonely or need to boost your ego? Do you feel like you have to get married before your biological clock runs out? These are bad reasons to get into a relationship, and don't spell success in your future. Make sure you're doing things for all the correct reasons if you want to avoid trouble.
2. Get rid of all your baggage. Sure, your past relationships have had issues. You might be scared of certain behaviors, certain your new partner is going to lie to you, or still sad about your ex. But you can't let those rule your new relationship - this is a new person. They're not responsible for anything that happened in the past.
3. Know what you want. Too many people who know they want a long term relationship settle for a short term one, thinking they'll be okay, or sure they can trick their partner into staying. Lots of people looking for something short get stuck in longer relationships out of guilt or obligation, too. If you know what you want out of a relationship, your chances of being happy will be a lot better.
4. Decide what you won't compromise. If you're very religious, sure about your career, or picky about certain lifestyle elements, you need to know it and be ready to stand fast. It's better not to get into a relationship that'll cause strife later on.
5. Make sure you have someone to talk to. When things are going well, you're going to want someone to chatter at about your new love. When they're not going so well, you might want a shoulder to cry on, an experienced friend who'll give advice, or just someone who'll listen to you rant. Before you start dating, make sure you've got support.
6. Look at your schedule. That might sound funny, until you realize your busy life doesn't have space for another person! Make sure you create room to hang out, have dates, and enjoy your time together without stress.
7. Be open to new things. No new person is going to be just like the last person you dated, and they're going to surprise you somehow. Be open to it and ready to have a good relationship!
Being prepared for a relationship can help prevent you from heart break. It is not fool proof and neither can it guarantee a lasting relationship but it can help you tick some of the boxes in your mind which will help you know whether you are ready to date again.
To gain more insights and tips on dating and relationships visit http://www.singlesstreetlife.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Meet Your Soulmate
Before you ask "Where do I find my Soulmate?", you need to ask if you're ready to meet him. What qualities would your soulmate be attracted to? Are you still carrying the emotional baggage from past relationships? Are you open to the possibilities and opportunities for change that your search for a soulmate will bring into your life? If the person you're looking for is fun, trustworthy and responsible, are you putting yourself out there to attract people with these qualities? Are you ready for love? Are you ready to give love?
Just as you want certain qualities in a soulmate, your soulmate is also looking for certain qualities. The worst thing that can happen to you is to find the person you believe is your soulmate and discover he's not into you. Not that he doesn't like you, but that he feels you're not the right person for him.
Here are 5 questions to ask yourself before you meet your soulmate to be sure that you're ready for him.
What am I looking for in my soulmate? This is where some women get off track. There are some things that are definite deal breakers, but many things that you might lists are not really as important. You'll never find a perfect person. We all have faults, so you need to decide which faults will be acceptable if the major qualities and values are there. Remember the shorter your list the more possibilities for success. The longer the list the more you're limiting yourself and increasing your chance of excluding your soulmate.
What qualities do I need to exude to attract my soulmate? What would he want. Think of the type of person you want to attract. What is it about you that would attract him? Do see yourself possessing the qualities you want in him. Now I'm not saying change who you are, but if there are things that you've wanted to work on, this is the time to do it. Start the exercise program. Eat healthy. Straighten out your finances. Go back to school. Look for a better job. The things you put off until later, start them now. Make a list of 5 things you want to work on and start working on them one at a time.
What qualities do I have now that can attract my soulmate? Now that you've thought about what you want and what he might be looking for, you can start looking at what qualities you already have. Count your assets. Count your blessings. This can be the hard for some people. So, ask your friends and family to tell you what makes you special. What is it about you that they like? You may be surprised by some of the answers. What have people praised you for in the past? What special talents and skills do you have? Make a list and look at it everyday. Add to it often and learn to accept how great you are.
Am I ready for a relationship? Most people enter into a relationship with some emotional baggage. The more baggage the harder it is to get on the path to a stable long term relationship. Examining how we feel about our pasts can be hard. Most people don't want to remember their past relationships. But to succeed in a new relationship you need to look back and release yourself from any anger or fear that you might have. Realize that you're a different person and releasing yourself from those feeling are part of growing. Forgive those in your past and move on. Don't let pain and fear from your past control your future happiness. So lighten your emotional load and get rid of some of the baggage.
What do I need to do to attract my soulmate? Get out there and meet men. You're not going to attract your soulmate if you don't find a way to meet him. Put your profile on dating sites like Match.com, FriendFinder.com or PlentyofFish.com (which is free). Join activities or clubs for topics you're interested in. Join a gym. Go to sporting events. Try speed dating. Let your friends set you up a blind date. Just put yourself in places where you can meet single men. Make a list of 5 places where you can meet men and get started.
Being at your best will give you confidence. When a woman is confident she exudes an energy that attracts men. Your soulmate will find it hard to ignore these qualities. At this point you won't need to ask "Where can I find my soulmate?" again. You'll be drawing your soulmate to you.
Shana is a writer, coach and consultant specializing in personal and business development, relationships and personal growth. You can read her other relationship articles at DatingTipsForFindingLove.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Just as you want certain qualities in a soulmate, your soulmate is also looking for certain qualities. The worst thing that can happen to you is to find the person you believe is your soulmate and discover he's not into you. Not that he doesn't like you, but that he feels you're not the right person for him.
Here are 5 questions to ask yourself before you meet your soulmate to be sure that you're ready for him.
What am I looking for in my soulmate? This is where some women get off track. There are some things that are definite deal breakers, but many things that you might lists are not really as important. You'll never find a perfect person. We all have faults, so you need to decide which faults will be acceptable if the major qualities and values are there. Remember the shorter your list the more possibilities for success. The longer the list the more you're limiting yourself and increasing your chance of excluding your soulmate.
What qualities do I need to exude to attract my soulmate? What would he want. Think of the type of person you want to attract. What is it about you that would attract him? Do see yourself possessing the qualities you want in him. Now I'm not saying change who you are, but if there are things that you've wanted to work on, this is the time to do it. Start the exercise program. Eat healthy. Straighten out your finances. Go back to school. Look for a better job. The things you put off until later, start them now. Make a list of 5 things you want to work on and start working on them one at a time.
What qualities do I have now that can attract my soulmate? Now that you've thought about what you want and what he might be looking for, you can start looking at what qualities you already have. Count your assets. Count your blessings. This can be the hard for some people. So, ask your friends and family to tell you what makes you special. What is it about you that they like? You may be surprised by some of the answers. What have people praised you for in the past? What special talents and skills do you have? Make a list and look at it everyday. Add to it often and learn to accept how great you are.
Am I ready for a relationship? Most people enter into a relationship with some emotional baggage. The more baggage the harder it is to get on the path to a stable long term relationship. Examining how we feel about our pasts can be hard. Most people don't want to remember their past relationships. But to succeed in a new relationship you need to look back and release yourself from any anger or fear that you might have. Realize that you're a different person and releasing yourself from those feeling are part of growing. Forgive those in your past and move on. Don't let pain and fear from your past control your future happiness. So lighten your emotional load and get rid of some of the baggage.
What do I need to do to attract my soulmate? Get out there and meet men. You're not going to attract your soulmate if you don't find a way to meet him. Put your profile on dating sites like Match.com, FriendFinder.com or PlentyofFish.com (which is free). Join activities or clubs for topics you're interested in. Join a gym. Go to sporting events. Try speed dating. Let your friends set you up a blind date. Just put yourself in places where you can meet single men. Make a list of 5 places where you can meet men and get started.
Being at your best will give you confidence. When a woman is confident she exudes an energy that attracts men. Your soulmate will find it hard to ignore these qualities. At this point you won't need to ask "Where can I find my soulmate?" again. You'll be drawing your soulmate to you.
Shana is a writer, coach and consultant specializing in personal and business development, relationships and personal growth. You can read her other relationship articles at DatingTipsForFindingLove.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
When You Are Used to Being on Your Own - How to Start Sharing Again
Many of us find ourselves single by default. We may well have had a long term relationship or two, but then find ourselves unexpectedly living alone, in different surroundings, having to start out again. At first it can be a busy time, recovering from the upheaval, settling into our new home, earning money to pay the bills, making new friends and interests. Then reality sets in. This is it. This is how it is going to be.
Some people rapidly find the dating game fun and build a busy social life quite quickly. Others find it a much slower process for many reasons. Some people may not feel that they want to find a new partner, they may still be hurting and need time to heal. Others may be shy or find the whole social process of where to go, what to wear, what to say daunting. Still others may be genuinely disinterested in the whole process and be happy going about their lives with their business and social interests fairly settled and sufficient for their needs.
Years may pass with a comfortable, happy enough, quality of life being established. Then, totally out of the blue, a potential new partner can come into our life. It may be through a friends' introduction, or through work or a social club, but all of a sudden this new relationship has come into our life. Exciting, scary, unprepared are all emotions that can be experienced at a time like this. How to cope and enjoy the opportunity is a big part of the challenge as many people settle over time into the mind set that they are passed having emotional relationships and are comfortable with the quality of their present lifestyle. A concern as to the level of disruption that this new experience may bring into their life, emotions and routine can be a real impediment to agreeing to start out again on the relationship front.
However, when there is a potential for joy, intimacy and closeness in a new relationship, why not take a chance and have a go? Love, support and companionship are valuable things to have in life and if we get another chance for happiness with a special someone who cares about us, it does seem a shame to miss the opportunity through fear and apprehension. Taking things steady can be a good guide to success at a time like this. Learning about someone elses' interests, opinions and tastes can open a wealth of new experiences, and if not all are fun or what we would have chosen to do, well at least we can say that we tried something new and different.
Enjoy the companionship and appreciate that the only rule is that there are no rules at a time like this. What does it matter what the neighbours or other people think. Most true friends are pleased when someone close is doing something that makes them smile and gives them pleasure. They are pleased to see a friend happy and settled with a caring partner.
Keep communications between you both open and honest. It is good to say how one feels about different matters. Even feeling tense or uneasy about something is best aired, as often, once it has been said and is out in the open the negative feelings tend to disperse.
Find a balance between stretching yourself and compromising. Many new areas of interest can be explored in a relationship, and this is especially relevant later on in life, when there are no business, children or elderly family members in need of the same level of attention as in earlier years. It can be an adventure to try different music, food, interests, even holiday styles and destinations.
The motivation to try these new things can bring with it a new lease of life. Many people find that they start to get fitter, lose a little weight and get more toned, maybe revitalise their wardrobe or image, all things to bring a spring to ones step and a more positive feel to life.
Maintaining ones own interests and friendships is also important. There is no need to put all ones eggs into one basket. Keep some space for personal time whilst also enjoying the new experiences and interests that have been brought into your life. And remember, life is not a dress rehearsal, it is the real deal. Make each day count and enjoy the opportunities that come along.
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with:
- stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief
- couples in crisis to help improve communications and understanding
- with business clients to help support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams
For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Some people rapidly find the dating game fun and build a busy social life quite quickly. Others find it a much slower process for many reasons. Some people may not feel that they want to find a new partner, they may still be hurting and need time to heal. Others may be shy or find the whole social process of where to go, what to wear, what to say daunting. Still others may be genuinely disinterested in the whole process and be happy going about their lives with their business and social interests fairly settled and sufficient for their needs.
Years may pass with a comfortable, happy enough, quality of life being established. Then, totally out of the blue, a potential new partner can come into our life. It may be through a friends' introduction, or through work or a social club, but all of a sudden this new relationship has come into our life. Exciting, scary, unprepared are all emotions that can be experienced at a time like this. How to cope and enjoy the opportunity is a big part of the challenge as many people settle over time into the mind set that they are passed having emotional relationships and are comfortable with the quality of their present lifestyle. A concern as to the level of disruption that this new experience may bring into their life, emotions and routine can be a real impediment to agreeing to start out again on the relationship front.
However, when there is a potential for joy, intimacy and closeness in a new relationship, why not take a chance and have a go? Love, support and companionship are valuable things to have in life and if we get another chance for happiness with a special someone who cares about us, it does seem a shame to miss the opportunity through fear and apprehension. Taking things steady can be a good guide to success at a time like this. Learning about someone elses' interests, opinions and tastes can open a wealth of new experiences, and if not all are fun or what we would have chosen to do, well at least we can say that we tried something new and different.
Enjoy the companionship and appreciate that the only rule is that there are no rules at a time like this. What does it matter what the neighbours or other people think. Most true friends are pleased when someone close is doing something that makes them smile and gives them pleasure. They are pleased to see a friend happy and settled with a caring partner.
Keep communications between you both open and honest. It is good to say how one feels about different matters. Even feeling tense or uneasy about something is best aired, as often, once it has been said and is out in the open the negative feelings tend to disperse.
Find a balance between stretching yourself and compromising. Many new areas of interest can be explored in a relationship, and this is especially relevant later on in life, when there are no business, children or elderly family members in need of the same level of attention as in earlier years. It can be an adventure to try different music, food, interests, even holiday styles and destinations.
The motivation to try these new things can bring with it a new lease of life. Many people find that they start to get fitter, lose a little weight and get more toned, maybe revitalise their wardrobe or image, all things to bring a spring to ones step and a more positive feel to life.
Maintaining ones own interests and friendships is also important. There is no need to put all ones eggs into one basket. Keep some space for personal time whilst also enjoying the new experiences and interests that have been brought into your life. And remember, life is not a dress rehearsal, it is the real deal. Make each day count and enjoy the opportunities that come along.
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with:
- stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief
- couples in crisis to help improve communications and understanding
- with business clients to help support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams
For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Being in Love Shouldn't Mean Losing Your Mind
Whether we admit it or not, most of us are voyeurs when it comes to other people's relationships. We watch from a distance and shake our heads, wondering things like "what are they thinking" and "how can they do something so stupid"? How many times have you:
seen someone you care about be completely let down and hung out to dry by someone they thought they could depend upon?
seen families torn apart by disagreements over money?
pretended to like the significant other of a friend or family member even though you can barely stand to be in the same room with them?
disliked the significant other of a friend or family member, and felt certain that they were taking advantage of, being unkind to, or generally not treating your friend or family member well, yet you just kept your mouth shut to preserve the peace?
I'm willing to bet that these various scenarios are familiar to most of us.
No matter how many times we see these things happen to others, it never occurs to us that some day we might be the victim of such treatment ourselves. We are even less willing to consider the possibility that one of the people we trust most in the world or their family or friends would be the ones inflicting such pain. To be even more specific, the last person we would ever believe would deliberately hurt us is our significant other. After living together for awhile, we know we can count on our partner to be there when we need them and that things will just keep getting better. Everyone seems very supportive of the relationship. Life is good!
Unfortunately, statistics say that about 70% of cohabitating couples break up within five years of moving in together and chances are that not all partings are amicable. Even with these statistics, most couples who live together without being married fail to put into place even the most basic safeguards that would not only make it easier to deal with unplanned events, but can protect the relationship as well as the individual partners. For example:
If you are living with someone in a home or apartment and you aren't on the lease, aren't a co-owner, and not in their will, you may be in trouble. Did you know that if your significant other were to die suddenly that you will be at the mercy of their heirs? You will find out the hard way if their family didn't actually like you and just kept their mouths shut to preserve the peace. They could lock you out of the home or apartment you shared, refuse to repay you for any improvements you helped to make to the premises, and even refuse to allow you to remove any furniture, electronics, art work, china, crystal, books, etc. unless you can prove ownership.
If you and your significant other have a fight to end all fights and you aren't on the lease or are an owner in the home you lived in together, you could come home and find the locks changed and be allowed to remove only those items that you can prove are actually yours. Any monies you put into improving the home could be gone as well.
If you lose some or all of your possessions to a fire, hurricane, tornado, theft or other events, do you have a "your, mine and ours" inventory of possessions to document who owns what for insurance purposes?
If you and your partner acquire a pet while you're together and you break up, who takes over its care? If you don't put it in writing, could your much-loved pet be used as a weapon should something go wrong in the relationship?
These are just a few of the things you and your partner should not only discuss, but should put into writing to avoid some of the pitfalls listed above. Too many of us disconnect our brain when we fall in love and refuse to even consider the possibility that one or both partners may someday fall out of love with each other.
More importantly, no one wants to contemplate that the person we think of as being our soul mate could become malicious, vindictive, or spiteful if the love were to disappear. However, the truth of the matter is that there are more hostile break-ups than amicable ones. The person being left is seldom motivated to be on their best behavior when their heart is broken.
Knowing the realities of the human heart and the likelihood that all reason will fly out the door when it is broken, it is beyond foolhardy to cohabitate with your significant other without discussing the many issues that can arise while living together. It is irresponsible not to put some written safeguards into place that would protect both of you were the unexpected to happen. No one who really cares about you will refuse to put into place the protections that will be important to you both when life doesn't turn out as planned. If anyone asks you to move in with them but refuses to plan for the unexpected events in life, run as fast as you can in the other direction.
Deb Dillon
Protect Yourself When You Live with a Significant Other
To learn about my software for legal agreements and authorizations, log on to my web site at Living Smart Guides. You will find all the information you need and it is easy and affordable. Remember, it's never too early (but it can be too late) to protect you and the ones that you love.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
seen someone you care about be completely let down and hung out to dry by someone they thought they could depend upon?
seen families torn apart by disagreements over money?
pretended to like the significant other of a friend or family member even though you can barely stand to be in the same room with them?
disliked the significant other of a friend or family member, and felt certain that they were taking advantage of, being unkind to, or generally not treating your friend or family member well, yet you just kept your mouth shut to preserve the peace?
I'm willing to bet that these various scenarios are familiar to most of us.
No matter how many times we see these things happen to others, it never occurs to us that some day we might be the victim of such treatment ourselves. We are even less willing to consider the possibility that one of the people we trust most in the world or their family or friends would be the ones inflicting such pain. To be even more specific, the last person we would ever believe would deliberately hurt us is our significant other. After living together for awhile, we know we can count on our partner to be there when we need them and that things will just keep getting better. Everyone seems very supportive of the relationship. Life is good!
Unfortunately, statistics say that about 70% of cohabitating couples break up within five years of moving in together and chances are that not all partings are amicable. Even with these statistics, most couples who live together without being married fail to put into place even the most basic safeguards that would not only make it easier to deal with unplanned events, but can protect the relationship as well as the individual partners. For example:
If you are living with someone in a home or apartment and you aren't on the lease, aren't a co-owner, and not in their will, you may be in trouble. Did you know that if your significant other were to die suddenly that you will be at the mercy of their heirs? You will find out the hard way if their family didn't actually like you and just kept their mouths shut to preserve the peace. They could lock you out of the home or apartment you shared, refuse to repay you for any improvements you helped to make to the premises, and even refuse to allow you to remove any furniture, electronics, art work, china, crystal, books, etc. unless you can prove ownership.
If you and your significant other have a fight to end all fights and you aren't on the lease or are an owner in the home you lived in together, you could come home and find the locks changed and be allowed to remove only those items that you can prove are actually yours. Any monies you put into improving the home could be gone as well.
If you lose some or all of your possessions to a fire, hurricane, tornado, theft or other events, do you have a "your, mine and ours" inventory of possessions to document who owns what for insurance purposes?
If you and your partner acquire a pet while you're together and you break up, who takes over its care? If you don't put it in writing, could your much-loved pet be used as a weapon should something go wrong in the relationship?
These are just a few of the things you and your partner should not only discuss, but should put into writing to avoid some of the pitfalls listed above. Too many of us disconnect our brain when we fall in love and refuse to even consider the possibility that one or both partners may someday fall out of love with each other.
More importantly, no one wants to contemplate that the person we think of as being our soul mate could become malicious, vindictive, or spiteful if the love were to disappear. However, the truth of the matter is that there are more hostile break-ups than amicable ones. The person being left is seldom motivated to be on their best behavior when their heart is broken.
Knowing the realities of the human heart and the likelihood that all reason will fly out the door when it is broken, it is beyond foolhardy to cohabitate with your significant other without discussing the many issues that can arise while living together. It is irresponsible not to put some written safeguards into place that would protect both of you were the unexpected to happen. No one who really cares about you will refuse to put into place the protections that will be important to you both when life doesn't turn out as planned. If anyone asks you to move in with them but refuses to plan for the unexpected events in life, run as fast as you can in the other direction.
Deb Dillon
Protect Yourself When You Live with a Significant Other
To learn about my software for legal agreements and authorizations, log on to my web site at Living Smart Guides. You will find all the information you need and it is easy and affordable. Remember, it's never too early (but it can be too late) to protect you and the ones that you love.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
Get Ready For the Marital Life!
Most of the people are under the misconception that getting ready for the marital life means getting ready for a sexual life. On getting the news that you are going to get engaged, even your friends sometimes sarcastically make a comment upon you that you are going to lose your freedom once and for all; for a few months you may not even have time to meet them since you are going to be preoccupied with your personal life. It is not entirely true. Despite sex being the part of the marital life, it does not pre-dominate the marital life.
Entering into a marital life means that you are entering into a higher plane of relationship.
Whether your marriage is a love marriage or an arranged marriage, you are going to have a partner to share your works, feelings, thoughts and the responsibilities.
Now you are more concerned here about a vital question: how to be prepared for the forthcoming marital life? Some of you may even ask, 'After all life is a learning process; why don't I remain my true self and learn anything new after entering into the marital life and getting adjusted accordingly?'
You know pretty well that planning is very vital in every venture and every part of your life.Your marital life is no exception.
In case of a love marriage, you are blessed and doubly advantageous; you have an opportunity to know about your life partner before hand, his or her income, his or her interests, his or her likes and dislikes, his or her characteristic qualities and so on. You get to know all these things by having frequent interaction with him or her, when you are in love with him or her.
If you are getting a life partner through an arranged marriage, it is always better to have a series of interactions with your fiancee before the marriage so that you can feel at ease when you enter the marital home. Moreover, such interactions will also help you to find out any bogus claims made by your future life partner so that you can be on guard against him or her.
Besides, getting married also means getting a new life partner; besides, you also have to move with a number of other people at the marital home like your future in-laws, your future life partner's brothers, sisters and his other relatives.
If you are well informed about everything about your proposed life partner, you can very well device a scheme or a plan of dealing with them. On the other hand, if you are not well informed and well equipped in your marital home, there is every chance and possibility of having a starting trouble at your marital home, leading to misunderstandings, ill feelings, mental tension, agony and torture; it may even lead to breakdown of of your marriage.
Now coming to the sexual life. If you are inured to a dating culture, perhaps you may not have any problem in your marital life as far as your sex life is concerned. But if you hail from a culture in which premarital sex is a taboo, it is better to equip yourself at least with a rudimentary knowledge of sex than remain a novice at your bed room. Nothing wrong in seeking the advice from your close friends who are already married or from the elders of your home. But sometimes your elders may not be at ease, when they discuss sexual topics or problems with you. Then you have to consult books. You should note that if you are successful in your sex life with your partner, he or she may have more love and affection towards you, which may in turn be very helpful in solving many other problems in the marital life.
Whether you are a male or a female, before embarking upon into your sexual life, please see that you always remain fresh, neat and clean; take care to dress properly; don't forget to use the cosmetics like soap, scent etc that your partner likes most. Always be relaxed and free yourself from any tension. You should fulfill the legitimate sexual desire of your life partner without any inhibition. If your sex life is satisfactory, it will take care of everything at the marital home. Therefore, you should always be prepared for a very good sexual life.
Therefore, before getting married, it is always good to prepare yourself for the forthcoming marital life; it may help you to be at ease at the marital home, besides helping you to solve many other problems so easily that you may encounter there.
Entering into a marital life means that you are entering into a higher plane of relationship.
Whether your marriage is a love marriage or an arranged marriage, you are going to have a partner to share your works, feelings, thoughts and the responsibilities.
Now you are more concerned here about a vital question: how to be prepared for the forthcoming marital life? Some of you may even ask, 'After all life is a learning process; why don't I remain my true self and learn anything new after entering into the marital life and getting adjusted accordingly?'
You know pretty well that planning is very vital in every venture and every part of your life.Your marital life is no exception.
In case of a love marriage, you are blessed and doubly advantageous; you have an opportunity to know about your life partner before hand, his or her income, his or her interests, his or her likes and dislikes, his or her characteristic qualities and so on. You get to know all these things by having frequent interaction with him or her, when you are in love with him or her.
If you are getting a life partner through an arranged marriage, it is always better to have a series of interactions with your fiancee before the marriage so that you can feel at ease when you enter the marital home. Moreover, such interactions will also help you to find out any bogus claims made by your future life partner so that you can be on guard against him or her.
Besides, getting married also means getting a new life partner; besides, you also have to move with a number of other people at the marital home like your future in-laws, your future life partner's brothers, sisters and his other relatives.
If you are well informed about everything about your proposed life partner, you can very well device a scheme or a plan of dealing with them. On the other hand, if you are not well informed and well equipped in your marital home, there is every chance and possibility of having a starting trouble at your marital home, leading to misunderstandings, ill feelings, mental tension, agony and torture; it may even lead to breakdown of of your marriage.
Now coming to the sexual life. If you are inured to a dating culture, perhaps you may not have any problem in your marital life as far as your sex life is concerned. But if you hail from a culture in which premarital sex is a taboo, it is better to equip yourself at least with a rudimentary knowledge of sex than remain a novice at your bed room. Nothing wrong in seeking the advice from your close friends who are already married or from the elders of your home. But sometimes your elders may not be at ease, when they discuss sexual topics or problems with you. Then you have to consult books. You should note that if you are successful in your sex life with your partner, he or she may have more love and affection towards you, which may in turn be very helpful in solving many other problems in the marital life.
Whether you are a male or a female, before embarking upon into your sexual life, please see that you always remain fresh, neat and clean; take care to dress properly; don't forget to use the cosmetics like soap, scent etc that your partner likes most. Always be relaxed and free yourself from any tension. You should fulfill the legitimate sexual desire of your life partner without any inhibition. If your sex life is satisfactory, it will take care of everything at the marital home. Therefore, you should always be prepared for a very good sexual life.
Therefore, before getting married, it is always good to prepare yourself for the forthcoming marital life; it may help you to be at ease at the marital home, besides helping you to solve many other problems so easily that you may encounter there.
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