Sunday, January 10, 2010

Interracial Relationship - Dating Outside One's Culture Without Betraying One's Roots

The public's outlook on socially and culturally sensitive issues is changing with every passing day. From 1967's legalization of interracial marriages to current trends of legalizing gay marriages, it is apparent that, given time, society learns to accept change. Interracial dating and romance is no longer uncommon and is becoming well established throughout North American society. The individuals within these relationships are generally comfortable with the knowledge that they can both maintain their own culture as well as introduce themselves to another. These couples do not feel that they are betraying their roots by learning new customs. In fact, in most cases it is the parents that pressure their children into not abandoning their culture and thus to avoid dating those of different ethnicities. When it deals with other people, it appears that most individuals are willing to accept multicultural dating, but those same individuals are against it when it jeopardizes their own customs and beliefs.

Many parents are worried that mixed raced dating will somehow dilute their own culture and will threaten the preservation of their cultural beliefs. They feel that in order to control the weakening of their cultural bonds, they must restrict the actions of their children i.e. prevent them from dating outside of their culture. Parents worry that if their child falls in love with someone of a different culture, they might sacrifice their own traditions in order to make the relationship work. Technically, it is up to their children to make these decisions. Realistically, the parents have the power to decide. Many children who go against their parent's will are punished with disapproval and even worse, alienation.

For couples in multicultural relationships, compromise is sometimes the best way to bridge the gap between the varying traditions. Choosing the most important traditions from each culture, while making sure to include the parents' opinions, will allow the partners and their parents to feel equally significant. The parents may never be completely happy with the choices their child has made, but at least they won't feel as thought that family roots have been betrayed.

People of different cultural backgrounds are not impervious to learning new customs and traditions. New partners may readily accept the challenge of engaging in the practices of different cultural groups. A person's roots are not left behind simply because they are exposed to new customs. Cultural and familial roots make us who we are, and that can never be taken away.
Interracial Relationship - Dating Outside One's Culture
People of different cultural backgrounds are not impervious to learning new customs and traditions.

How to Know You Have Found Your Ideal Person

When it comes to dating, many people have a hard time figuring out whether or not they have found the ideal person. You might think that a person would automatically know it, and sometimes they do, but so many people are still under the impression that the grass is greener on the other side. Or that special person will just drop from heaven and say I am the one! If you are someone who always tends to think that there is something bigger and better out there, you may never be satisfied until you change your way of thinking.

Here are some questions to ask yourself as you decide whether your partner is ideal for you.

1. Think about the time that you and your partner spend together. Is there more peace than drama?
2. Do you experience joy and happiness most of the time you are in each others company.
3. While you do not have to like everything that the other person does, do you at least have some things in common?
4. Are both of you able to get along with or at least respect each other's friends?
5. Do you get on with each others family? Whilst it is not a prerequisite for a successful relationship it helps when there is peace between you and your partner's family.
6. Do you agree or at least have an understanding on the fundamentals of a future life together e.g whether you want to have children or not. the number of children you will have, how you will raise them, where you will live - would you be happy if you have to relocate to another country because of your partner? how to handle your finances etchese are some. These are some of the things that can cause major problems in a relationship when they are not addressed in the early stages of your relationship.
7. Religion and your spirtual understanding is another area to assess. Is there mutual respect of each others beliefs?
8. Are you open and transparent with one another. Is there a free flow communication between you? When you are able to communicate with someone freely it is a good sign of having of a healthy relationship
9. There are no secrets between you to the best of your knowledge
10. Have you found that you are both more concerned about the feelings and well being of their other person than your own

If you have answered yes to these few questions, you may have very well found the ideal person for you.

The key though is to make sure that you are not jumping into things too quickly. Just because you may have found Mr. or Miss Right does not mean that the while thing could not be ruined by simply jumping into an engagement or wedding too fast. You want to make sure that you are taking your time and that you are allowing the relationship to naturally blossom. Of course, there are some relationships that move very fast and are a success, but those are far and few between so you want to be careful with moving fast with the relationship.

If that special person allows that time to happen, you have found a catch. Do not believe that just because someone is being pushy about marriage that they must be the ideal catch for you. You want someone that will respect your space because once you are married, you are certainly going to need some of that from time to time.

Another thing to remember is that what may define the ideal person for one individual may not be the ideal type of person for another. Everyone is different so it is important to make sure that you are listening to your heart, and not the heart of everyone else. When you do this, you will have a much better shot at making sure that you find and hold onto the right person when you find him or her. Just relax and before you know it you will be in the arms of the perfect person for you and you will see just how much it was worth the wait.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com

How Not To Fall In Love: Suggestions for a Single Male

Love is one of the purest emotions in the world. Needless to say, the very idea of falling in love makes a person do things they never thought they’d do and not do things they have always been doing. Simply put, being in love is one of the best things that can happen to a single male – provided they have not committed to anyone and their proposed lady love is not already committed to someone. Here are some tips – albeit very difficult to follow – to ensure that a single male does not become a housebreaker.

Cupid can strike anywhere, be it the neighborhood, college, the place one works in, all these are simply battlegrounds for the most naughty angel around to get to work. However, various social and cultural norms prevent people from expressing their true emotions. Some steps one can take to prevent any romantic relations are:

In Crowd Lies Strength: Love is a two way street, with a person falling for someone, or someone falling for the said person. So, if you are getting vibes of any unneeded romantic feelings, disappear into the surroundings. Avoid meeting the person alone. Make sure that you have at least one or more of your colleagues or friends around when he or she turns up.

Avoid Eye Contact: Try not to look at the person directly. This will only complicate matters. If you have fallen for the person, you will be nothing else but a Oscar – winning actor if you can hide the blush on your cheek and the hazy gaze in your eye when she gives that dimpled smile or bats her eyelids, or does anything that first made your heart go ‘uhmm’. If she has fallen for you, giving her eye contact will only help in increasing her hopes of someone actually opening the door when she comes knocking at your heart’s door.

Speak of the Folks: One major reason for a single male trying not to fall in love is the girl in question being already committed or married. If you have fallen for the girl, talk to her about her family or her husband. This will only ensure that you always keep her married status in mind, or the father who is simply against you for some reason or the other. If the girl has fallen for you, talking to her about her family and husband will make her take things in the right perspective. Try to actually praise her husband or family, it makes the girl think of exactly how great a life she’s leading right now, and why she would not leave it for anything in this world.

Close Down, For Ever: Come what may, do not, ever, concern yourself with her private and family life. To be more precise, turn a blind eye to the black eye that she brings with herself to the office or college. Many species of the opposite gender are looking out for support and strength during those bad times in a marriage or a relationship. Speaking from experience, you will not be able to live with the fact that you ‘got a girl while she was on the rebound’.

While these are important suggestions for not falling in love with a person, one of the first things that you should do personally is learn to live without the girl in question. There are umpteen ways of doing this, like taking up a new hobby, socializing more with people you have already been socializing with, and so on and so forth.

Expert and Concise Advice on How to Keep a Woman Happy

Have you ever truly given any clear thought on how to keep a woman happy? One of the key elements first and foremost is to be yourself so you can represent a clear, complete picture of who she is involved with. Often men are tempted to dazzle too much instead of simply offering up a breathing, living male which is all she desires in the first place.

One of the sexiest things you can do is to approach with confidence. I'm sure you've seen a gorgeous "drop dead" woman on the arm of an ugly guy and feel confused as to how she could have been attracted to him. A sure example of the power of confidence attracting a woman where mere physical stature would not.

Every single date or encounter need not be done on a grand scale, often just a simple gesture to show you are thinking of her is sufficient. If you know she likes a particular candy or doughnut, bring a fresh bag over to share. Show up with flowers just because they are beautiful and remind you of her.

It is the little things that delight her and go a long way in adding up to a long, lasting relationship. Sharing these declarations of love will also show her how much she is appreciated. No one likes being taken for granted, male or female in relationships.

By truly showing you care with these small but powerful tools will show her how much she is valued. When you are with her make sure she has the complete focus of your attention. It is really degrading to be made to feel as though one is being judged or compared to every other woman in the room.

Even though on a intellectual level a woman knows that often men feel as though it is part of their cave man instinct to conquer by keeping their options open in surveying the territory, their monogamous nature will not accept this behavior. Most women are compelled to search for a partner they can be with for live, create a home for a nest where they can raise children and live happily ever after. It is just simply a force of nature with them.

Along with all the other tips of a lasting relationship strive to keep her laughing. In study after study it has been found that a sense of humor is paramount to lasting relationships from a woman's point of view. Finding common interest is also something that will benefit the both of you. During the course of the relationship seek out something that is a passion for her and be interested enough in it to be able to interact with her from time to time, asking her questions and being genuinely interested. It may cause you to go out of your comfort zone but at least you are making the effort which will delight her.

Another key element is to continue to put as much care into your appearance as you did during the courtship. Women do not put as much emphasis on looks as men do in the long run of the relationship but continuing to care about your outward appearance guarantees she will continue to have eyes only for you.

If she is fashionable and likes to stay ahead of the latest trends attempt to mimic her example. Just because you have her doesn't mean you can afford to let yourself go. Be the man she is proud to introduce to her family and friends.

Once the pursing stage of the relationship has settled down it is time to concentrate on becoming even more of a fixture in her life. You will be on display to her family and friends for inspection along the way. It is very important to women that her peers approve of her choice of a possible mate.

The final pieces of advice involve being sensitive to the basic differences between men and women. She is a much more sensitive creature than you and it would behoove you to remember the complexities of that element. In the beginning everything is new so try to remember to continue to be open to exploring new things and working on ways to keep the relationship fresh and exciting.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Dating and Relationship: Hopelessly Single

Are you one of those who has a very successful career, a dignified post and reputation and financial stability. If that is the case then we know exactly what your problem is?

Consider this
You go out on a date with a guy who is not as rich as you. Sub consciously you flaunt your status, and this not many people actually like. Therefore on your date you either "intimidate" men or you make them dislike you because of your "snooty" attitude.

What you need to do: In order to win a date you need to do a "market research" by getting some very candid feedback from three men and three women about you as a person and your personal style. Be sure to select these people (friends, family, colleagues) for their honesty. If there are consistent issues that arise with the feedback, take them to heart and make some changes.

Do I intimidate men
You may very well intimidate men with your achievements and status, and this is a common problem. Well if you do then here are a few suggestions.

Try to ease men into seeing that you are a strong career oriented person.

Play down your wardrobe and don't go on your first date "dress for success" with executive suits, expensive jewelry, or flashy clothing and accessories that reinforce your monetary status.

If you live in a more expensive home than he does, don't invite him over until your relationship is more secure.

Don't let your conversation focus heavily on your accomplishments at work. Rather, focus on mutual interests such as family, films, books or pets (not items that signify success, such as expensive vacations).

Don’t go declaring that you hold a hotshot post or you are a chairperson or president of a big multi-national company. You can simply tell him that you work in so-and-so company.

Eventually, if you establish strong feelings for each other, your success should not deter him, and you can say or wear whatever you want. But in the beginning, just focus on getting to know each other better.

Are We Compatible? - Tips For Relationship Longevity

* We have to be in it for the long haul and not just a booty call.

The decision should be made in the beginning of the relationship whether or not its just a fling. I am not saying till death do us part from the get go. There needs to be an understanding of what the intentions of both partners are. How do we tell the other person that we are looking for a potential life partner? We can use a question to feel out the other person; such as, I can see us growing old together do you feel the same way? There are no easy questions when dealing with human relationships. It is work and you feel awkward and exposed when you ask these kind of questions, because love is risk and you have to be willing to risk it all when showing someone else your feelings for them. It is vulnerability that creates intimacy when it is received with compassion. To answer the question there needs to be mature, honest, adult communication.

* Couples that play together stay together.

Men and women are different and unique in there choices of play and entertainment. This fact should not be a barrier in a relationship when it comes to activities that both can do together. Guys are big on recreational companionship and girls are big on relational building activities like sharing intimate details of their day. Why not do a recreational / relational building activity, like going hiking to a camp area and bringing a picnic with you. Or going to play disc golf. Both activities allow for some physical exertion and relational conversation. Depending on the level of athleticism of both partners you should choose activities that both can do and make sure it allows for interaction. If you can not find something that you both enjoy, then try learning a new sport or activity together.

* Love making happens in more ways than one.

As you share time together, be mindful of how your partner expresses their love toward you. If they like to do things for you, then chances are he/she would like to receive the same gesture. This applies to any expression of love. There are personality quizzes, love language assessments and other tools that can be used to help you determine both of your tendencies. There is no shame in using these tools and has no bearing on either ones ability to logically deduct the above mentioned traits. This knowledge sets you up for emotional stability and creates a loving environment that fosters a satisfying sex life.

What Soulmate Theory is all About

You might date very many people but only one was meant to be your soulmate. Not every one who get attracted to you qualifies to be your significant other. It is more than meets the eye. It is a bit confusing when out of the blues your blood veins feels like bursting and your heart beat rate increases. Your perspective about life positively changes and yet you have doubts whether he/she is your real soul mate. Intimacy does not qualify the virtue either. A soul mate is a person who allows to grow, helps you release your emotions, all the insecurities that life presents such as fear among others. He/she helps you to be comfortable with yourself. He helps enjoy unconditional love, peace and gives you the purpose of facing each new day.

A life with a soul mate can be said to be in circles. A soul mate helps to do all things that has one theme and that is the innocence and the unconditional love you knew when you were a young kid. The idea of a soul mate is not a person who loves you completely but one who has the skill to deal with any issue inhibiting unconditional love. You do not have to be head over heels in love with your spouse but as you go through the live's journey together you will find yourself more and more in love with each other over time. There is nothing more fulfilling than feeling at peace with the relationship since there is evidence of harmony when you live with a soul mate.

The difference between a joker and a soulmate in your live can be detected by the heart-heart attraction. Your mind can reason out emotions or fears that can result into seperation. A matching soul mate leads to unconditional love and sometimes the mind fails to understand. The strong feeling outgrows the fear that your love might be misused. Your heart has the capacity to create the bond compared to your mind. A soul mate helps you break free from insecurities. This brings a new meaning to what love is. You stop seeing it as the illusion you knew it for in your teenage years, the family and society's definition becomes irrelevant. In such a relationship there is freedom to live life to the fullest.

A soul mate who takes your needs as his and helps you heal in all your areas of need. It is not easy to get to appreciate whatever you do not like about yourself. He/she deals with issues concerning money, social status and the common problems of all times(body shape). A soul mate will always help remove all the stumbling blocks that stops you from achieving all your goals. It is not necessariry love at first sight but it is the type that grows with time. It is God's will that your partner is in alignment to your soul's purpose. The most important thing to note is that he/she must not meet your family's or friends expectations.

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