Living in together is a very delicate matter to discuss. Some are really against it while some tolerate it. I was warned about writing an article about living in together because some people are very sensitive to these kinds of issues. As a relationship coach, living in together is not a new thing. I know one couple who has been living in together for as long as I can remember. Getting married is not an issue for them as long as they know where they stand; they trust each other enough to be on the bound of holy matrimony. They said they want to be together because they love and are committed with each other, they don't want the constraint and pressure marriage life brings.
Cohabitation is not for everyone. They say that women are in the losing end in this kind of situation. Personally, I don't agree with this, I believe in a woman's capacity to make a decision and they will never choose to be in a situation where they end up as the losing end. They say that living in together increases the risk of divorce or create a high level of unhappiness for couples. Others say that it breeds contempt. I have coached marriage couples and cohabitating lovers and I noticed that both sets of couples encounter the same relationship issues, except that some cohabitating lovers discussed about getting in to marriage while the married couple sometimes discussed about getting out of it.
They say that the difference between being married and cohabitating is the sense of security. I beg to disagree with this; marriage should not be the basis of your sense of security. If you expect that in marriage you will achieve the security you seek then you are heading for the greatest disappointment of you life, maybe you can get financial security but then again there are pre-nuptial agreements Sense of security is a personal matter; you should have this in or out of marriage. Some lovers chose living together before marriage because they want to make sure that they are compatible enough and they are aware that there are things they can only discover when they are living together under one roof.
Some couples would rather risk the consequences of living together before marriage than be trapped in mistake and go through a nasty divorce. Whether you decide to be married or cohabitate, you and your lover should discuss your expectations, goals and level of commitment in your relationship. The success of a relationship wholly depends on the couples degree of commitment and communication, not the status of their relationship... and besides who are we to judge when it comes to matters of the heart.
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching individuals and couples in their relationships. Get A Copy of her sensational ebook on Winning Over Infidelity. Experience a Happier Love Life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Monday, January 25, 2010
5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Meet Your Soulmate
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Moms Advice on Love and Relationships
If there's one human being who loves us unconditionally and profoundly, it's our mom. They know us more than anybody else; we may think that they don't but actually they really do. We may sometimes find their pampering over the top or at times annoying but hey, they are made for that, and they can't help it.
As a relationship coach, my mom's wisdom and good example has a big influence. So in this article, I am going to share my mom's advice on love and relationships. This happened during my teenage years, though I can't relate but I'm sure this is one of the toughest stages to get through to a child but somehow my mom never run out of tricks to get her insights on me.
It was a good moment because what she told me lived inside me and I'm sure it will remain inside me; my mom gave me her advice on love and relationships. She told me "Ruth, sooner or later you are going to fall inlove and that is a good thing and I will be the happiest mom in the world if you can find that somebody to love no matter what and that same somebody who will do the same to you." I asked her- "How will I know if I am inlove?" I was expecting the ever elusive answer to this question "you will know when it's there" but my mom gave me specifics.
"You can only say you are truly in love when you know how you want your eggs and coffee done and why." "But I don't drink coffee yet, mom." She answered. "If you're old enough to drink coffee, then you are capable enough to say that it is true and real love." "It doesn't mean that if you think of that person 24/7 you are inlove. There are tons of reasons why you get to think of that person constantly, he may have a great smile and sparkling blue eyes or he smells good and he has attractive wavy hair that goes along with his beautifully tanned skin." "If these are the reason that makes you inlove, have you ever asked yourself what if those great smile and sparkling teeth are replaced with cheap dentures? And those sparkling blue eyes will be covered with thick high grade glasses and he will soon smell like soap and those wavy locks and tanned skin will soon wilt away.
Will you still feel the same?" my mom said looking straight in my eyes while giving her advice on love. "What I'm telling you my dear is that I need you to figure yourself out first. I need you to discover how precious and special you are before you decide to share yourself to that deserving person." She continued her advice on love. "...because if you know deep inside that you are very special person then you will attract that same kind of person- a very loving and deserving person who will make you fall but will not allow you to forget yourself- a person who will always be happy to see you taking care and taking charge of your life... and that same person will hurt you and make you cry but will not make you lose your faith with each other.
This is my advice on love to you- to have faith in yourself and your man but you have to know and discover who you are first. Decide what it is you want your life and the universe will give you that suitable person to fit in your life. Don't force time or yourself, love will come to you- the universe provides and its timing is always impeccable." My mom says in conclusion. So, how about you? Do you how you want your eggs and coffee done and why?
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching individuals and couples in their relationships. Get A Copy of her sensational ebook on Winning Over Infidelity. Experience a Happier Love Life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
As a relationship coach, my mom's wisdom and good example has a big influence. So in this article, I am going to share my mom's advice on love and relationships. This happened during my teenage years, though I can't relate but I'm sure this is one of the toughest stages to get through to a child but somehow my mom never run out of tricks to get her insights on me.
It was a good moment because what she told me lived inside me and I'm sure it will remain inside me; my mom gave me her advice on love and relationships. She told me "Ruth, sooner or later you are going to fall inlove and that is a good thing and I will be the happiest mom in the world if you can find that somebody to love no matter what and that same somebody who will do the same to you." I asked her- "How will I know if I am inlove?" I was expecting the ever elusive answer to this question "you will know when it's there" but my mom gave me specifics.
"You can only say you are truly in love when you know how you want your eggs and coffee done and why." "But I don't drink coffee yet, mom." She answered. "If you're old enough to drink coffee, then you are capable enough to say that it is true and real love." "It doesn't mean that if you think of that person 24/7 you are inlove. There are tons of reasons why you get to think of that person constantly, he may have a great smile and sparkling blue eyes or he smells good and he has attractive wavy hair that goes along with his beautifully tanned skin." "If these are the reason that makes you inlove, have you ever asked yourself what if those great smile and sparkling teeth are replaced with cheap dentures? And those sparkling blue eyes will be covered with thick high grade glasses and he will soon smell like soap and those wavy locks and tanned skin will soon wilt away.
Will you still feel the same?" my mom said looking straight in my eyes while giving her advice on love. "What I'm telling you my dear is that I need you to figure yourself out first. I need you to discover how precious and special you are before you decide to share yourself to that deserving person." She continued her advice on love. "...because if you know deep inside that you are very special person then you will attract that same kind of person- a very loving and deserving person who will make you fall but will not allow you to forget yourself- a person who will always be happy to see you taking care and taking charge of your life... and that same person will hurt you and make you cry but will not make you lose your faith with each other.
This is my advice on love to you- to have faith in yourself and your man but you have to know and discover who you are first. Decide what it is you want your life and the universe will give you that suitable person to fit in your life. Don't force time or yourself, love will come to you- the universe provides and its timing is always impeccable." My mom says in conclusion. So, how about you? Do you how you want your eggs and coffee done and why?
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching individuals and couples in their relationships. Get A Copy of her sensational ebook on Winning Over Infidelity. Experience a Happier Love Life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
How to Know You Have Found Your Ideal Person
When it comes to dating, many people have a hard time figuring out whether or not they have found the ideal person. You might think that a person would automatically know it, and sometimes they do, but so many people are still under the impression that the grass is greener on the other side. Or that special person will just drop from heaven and say I am the one! If you are someone who always tends to think that there is something bigger and better out there, you may never be satisfied until you change your way of thinking.
Here are some questions to ask yourself as you decide whether your partner is ideal for you.
Think about the time that you and your partner spend together. Is there more peace than drama?
Do you experience joy and happiness most of the time you are in each others company.
While you do not have to like everything that the other person does, do you at least have some things in common?
Are both of you able to get along with or at least respect each other's friends?
Do you get on with each others family? Whilst it is not a prerequisite for a successful relationship it helps when there is peace between you and your partner's family.
Do you agree or at least have an understanding on the fundamentals of a future life together e.g whether you want to have children or not. the number of children you will have, how you will raise them, where you will live - would you be happy if you have to relocate to another country because of your partner? how to handle your finances etchese are some. These are some of the things that can cause major problems in a relationship when they are not addressed in the early stages of your relationship.
Religion and your spirtual understanding is another area to assess. Is there mutual respect of each others beliefs?
Are you open and transparent with one another. Is there a free flow communication between you? When you are able to communicate with someone freely it is a good sign of having of a healthy relationship
There are no secrets between you to the best of your knowledge
Have you found that you are both more concerned about the feelings and well being of their other person than your own
If you have answered yes to these few questions, you may have very well found the ideal person for you.
The key though is to make sure that you are not jumping into things too quickly. Just because you may have found Mr. or Miss Right does not mean that the while thing could not be ruined by simply jumping into an engagement or wedding too fast. You want to make sure that you are taking your time and that you are allowing the relationship to naturally blossom. Of course, there are some relationships that move very fast and are a success, but those are far and few between so you want to be careful with moving fast with the relationship.
If that special person allows that time to happen, you have found a catch. Do not believe that just because someone is being pushy about marriage that they must be the ideal catch for you. You want someone that will respect your space because once you are married, you are certainly going to need some of that from time to time.
Another thing to remember is that what may define the ideal person for one individual may not be the ideal type of person for another. Everyone is different so it is important to make sure that you are listening to your heart, and not the heart of everyone else. When you do this, you will have a much better shot at making sure that you find and hold onto the right person when you find him or her. Just relax and before you know it you will be in the arms of the perfect person for you and you will see just how much it was worth the wait.
To gain more insights and tips on dating and relationships visit http://www.singlesstreetlife.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Here are some questions to ask yourself as you decide whether your partner is ideal for you.
Think about the time that you and your partner spend together. Is there more peace than drama?
Do you experience joy and happiness most of the time you are in each others company.
While you do not have to like everything that the other person does, do you at least have some things in common?
Are both of you able to get along with or at least respect each other's friends?
Do you get on with each others family? Whilst it is not a prerequisite for a successful relationship it helps when there is peace between you and your partner's family.
Do you agree or at least have an understanding on the fundamentals of a future life together e.g whether you want to have children or not. the number of children you will have, how you will raise them, where you will live - would you be happy if you have to relocate to another country because of your partner? how to handle your finances etchese are some. These are some of the things that can cause major problems in a relationship when they are not addressed in the early stages of your relationship.
Religion and your spirtual understanding is another area to assess. Is there mutual respect of each others beliefs?
Are you open and transparent with one another. Is there a free flow communication between you? When you are able to communicate with someone freely it is a good sign of having of a healthy relationship
There are no secrets between you to the best of your knowledge
Have you found that you are both more concerned about the feelings and well being of their other person than your own
If you have answered yes to these few questions, you may have very well found the ideal person for you.
The key though is to make sure that you are not jumping into things too quickly. Just because you may have found Mr. or Miss Right does not mean that the while thing could not be ruined by simply jumping into an engagement or wedding too fast. You want to make sure that you are taking your time and that you are allowing the relationship to naturally blossom. Of course, there are some relationships that move very fast and are a success, but those are far and few between so you want to be careful with moving fast with the relationship.
If that special person allows that time to happen, you have found a catch. Do not believe that just because someone is being pushy about marriage that they must be the ideal catch for you. You want someone that will respect your space because once you are married, you are certainly going to need some of that from time to time.
Another thing to remember is that what may define the ideal person for one individual may not be the ideal type of person for another. Everyone is different so it is important to make sure that you are listening to your heart, and not the heart of everyone else. When you do this, you will have a much better shot at making sure that you find and hold onto the right person when you find him or her. Just relax and before you know it you will be in the arms of the perfect person for you and you will see just how much it was worth the wait.
To gain more insights and tips on dating and relationships visit http://www.singlesstreetlife.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Relationship Questions to Ask Your Lover in the First Three Months
Does your lover know the difference between love, romance and sex? This is one of many relationship questions to ask your lover. The more you ask, the better you will know them. Some of the questions are simple yet fun, favorite color, favorite foods, music, etc. Some will be awkward like the first question. One thing for sure, you'll know whether to move forward with the relationship or not depending on how these are answered.
It's very important to find out what they enjoy doing and how they spend their free time. Do they want to spend every minute with you or will they need a lot of alone time. Some of the relationship questions to ask your lover should be about money, career plans,and lifestyle interests. The sooner you find out what you have in common the better for the both of you.
As the relationship questions to ask your lover come up for conversation, the personality of your mate will expose itself, at times with feelings and emotions when you least expect it. Answering the questions will help to build and bind together the relationship. The relationship solidifies quicker as you communicate with each other and find the many things you agree on and have in common. If this is not the case and is not going so well, then you will know to cut your losses quicker and move on. Don't avoid the rather invasive questions you feel you need to ask. You might get the positive results that you have always dreamed of. Some will appreciate you being upfront with them and each opportunity will show more of yourself also.
You can categorize the relationship questions to ask your lover. Some are more casual and fun, some pertain to health, family and career choices. You can make little quizzes or questionnaires out of them or sneak a few in every once in a while whenever you're together. Of course, you will have domestic concerns, also maybe about religion or the sex and romance part. These questions should help you to build a strong relationship and be able to communicate comfortably with each other about any topic. Most any well thought out question will work, though. It's learning to trust each other and answering honestly and respectfully that will set the pace for the relationship. So, don't be shy. Start with the fun easy ones first and as you develop confidence you will notice the others slide right in by themselves.
Sanno Zaye reveals more answers at the Relationship Advice Site.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
It's very important to find out what they enjoy doing and how they spend their free time. Do they want to spend every minute with you or will they need a lot of alone time. Some of the relationship questions to ask your lover should be about money, career plans,and lifestyle interests. The sooner you find out what you have in common the better for the both of you.
As the relationship questions to ask your lover come up for conversation, the personality of your mate will expose itself, at times with feelings and emotions when you least expect it. Answering the questions will help to build and bind together the relationship. The relationship solidifies quicker as you communicate with each other and find the many things you agree on and have in common. If this is not the case and is not going so well, then you will know to cut your losses quicker and move on. Don't avoid the rather invasive questions you feel you need to ask. You might get the positive results that you have always dreamed of. Some will appreciate you being upfront with them and each opportunity will show more of yourself also.
You can categorize the relationship questions to ask your lover. Some are more casual and fun, some pertain to health, family and career choices. You can make little quizzes or questionnaires out of them or sneak a few in every once in a while whenever you're together. Of course, you will have domestic concerns, also maybe about religion or the sex and romance part. These questions should help you to build a strong relationship and be able to communicate comfortably with each other about any topic. Most any well thought out question will work, though. It's learning to trust each other and answering honestly and respectfully that will set the pace for the relationship. So, don't be shy. Start with the fun easy ones first and as you develop confidence you will notice the others slide right in by themselves.
Sanno Zaye reveals more answers at the Relationship Advice Site.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Live, Love, Laugh, and Luxuriate - The Cosmic Call of the Hour
A momentous challenge lies before you. You are inhaling the next vital breath of your pertinent life and with it, ingesting those things that truly matter. Your life is a direct reflection of the delegated compartments of which you have specifically ordered. Nothing is out of order and nothing is amiss. This is your carefully chosen, executively administered and precisely ordained cosmic existence.
You are, at this moment, specifically and completely 'full of all of the comprising components' {situations, events, circumstances}, intergraded ingredients {people, places, things,} and multi-layered elements {emotions, thoughts, actions, reactions}' that have ever existed since the beginning of time. Not one grain of sand has been misplaced from the ocean of your reality. Nothing exists outside of your personal domain or extended boundaries for which you erroneously believe you must strive and compete to attain.. You have precisely and exactly what you want in the exact way you want it. No exceptions. This is it! This is a good as it gets, period.
Further more, you never been separated from the origin and essence of who you are, or from the ones who truly mirror your soul. You are vibrating at the exact frequency relative to your swirling motion of events. How could it be otherwise? You are an intensely creative vibrant sensual sexual creature who is imbued with enormous potential and radiating attraction. The question set before you, now: Why are you bemoaning your lot? What you are aware of, if you are conscious of any aspect of your life, is the dawning, pervading sense of urgency to 'seize the moment.' It is up to you to see through the false charade your eyes present as a means of distraction and constant dissatisfaction. "Don't let your eyes betray you." It's time to get on with the program of pleasure filled artistic physical living!
You inhabit a body, on earth and the suggested regimented menu for this planet is to: live, love, laugh and luxuriate. That's the deal for real. When engaged in the passion of your specific soul's agenda, you can do no harm. In fact, you can possibly spread a little happiness and good cheer along the way. Who knows? Anything is possible. It's the unmistakable call of the hour to live your dreams in fullest of expanded ways. No holding back. You are taking up residence in the most luxurious vacation paradise in the galaxy. Will you release the barricaded resistance you so cautiously maintain to meet yourself in the moment of season's radical change? By realizing the enormous germinating power locked within each breath you take, you will soar like a celebrated eagle.
Or you could choose to remain stiff, boring, unmotivated and down right unattractive. Where's your sense of universal adventure? Where are the exotic and unexplored sensual escapades? You have been hiding your alluring nature way too long. Get on with the program of living fully, passionately, sexually and artistically? Why not? What do you have to lose except the dull and monotonous angry existence you uphold? It's high time for you to make your effective non duplicated productive contribution to earth.
Cosmic Therapist, Author, Artist, Entertainer, Teacher, Speaker, Singer/Songwriter. Married 39 years with 6 children and 11 grandchildren and a native of North Carolina.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
You are, at this moment, specifically and completely 'full of all of the comprising components' {situations, events, circumstances}, intergraded ingredients {people, places, things,} and multi-layered elements {emotions, thoughts, actions, reactions}' that have ever existed since the beginning of time. Not one grain of sand has been misplaced from the ocean of your reality. Nothing exists outside of your personal domain or extended boundaries for which you erroneously believe you must strive and compete to attain.. You have precisely and exactly what you want in the exact way you want it. No exceptions. This is it! This is a good as it gets, period.
Further more, you never been separated from the origin and essence of who you are, or from the ones who truly mirror your soul. You are vibrating at the exact frequency relative to your swirling motion of events. How could it be otherwise? You are an intensely creative vibrant sensual sexual creature who is imbued with enormous potential and radiating attraction. The question set before you, now: Why are you bemoaning your lot? What you are aware of, if you are conscious of any aspect of your life, is the dawning, pervading sense of urgency to 'seize the moment.' It is up to you to see through the false charade your eyes present as a means of distraction and constant dissatisfaction. "Don't let your eyes betray you." It's time to get on with the program of pleasure filled artistic physical living!
You inhabit a body, on earth and the suggested regimented menu for this planet is to: live, love, laugh and luxuriate. That's the deal for real. When engaged in the passion of your specific soul's agenda, you can do no harm. In fact, you can possibly spread a little happiness and good cheer along the way. Who knows? Anything is possible. It's the unmistakable call of the hour to live your dreams in fullest of expanded ways. No holding back. You are taking up residence in the most luxurious vacation paradise in the galaxy. Will you release the barricaded resistance you so cautiously maintain to meet yourself in the moment of season's radical change? By realizing the enormous germinating power locked within each breath you take, you will soar like a celebrated eagle.
Or you could choose to remain stiff, boring, unmotivated and down right unattractive. Where's your sense of universal adventure? Where are the exotic and unexplored sensual escapades? You have been hiding your alluring nature way too long. Get on with the program of living fully, passionately, sexually and artistically? Why not? What do you have to lose except the dull and monotonous angry existence you uphold? It's high time for you to make your effective non duplicated productive contribution to earth.
Cosmic Therapist, Author, Artist, Entertainer, Teacher, Speaker, Singer/Songwriter. Married 39 years with 6 children and 11 grandchildren and a native of North Carolina.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
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