Nearly everywhere we look these days we see advice about how to get back together with your ex. There are magazines, websites and even books devoted to this topic. It seems that every relationship expert out there has something to say about whether or not you should get back with your ex.
But before you start reading or listening to any advice about getting back with your ex, it will be important for you to think for a bit about why you want to get back with your ex. Ask yourself these questions and allow yourself to truly be honest with the answers.
• How long have you been separated with your ex?
• Why do you want to get back together with your ex?
• What is it you miss the most about your ex?
• Are you feeling depressed and lonely?
• Have you spoken to your ex since the breakup?
• What kind of relationship do you have with your ex since the breakup?
Sometimes we just think we want to get back with our ex because we are lonely or we have not adjusted to the new changes in our lives. We long for what is familiar, even if that means a bad or unhealthy relationship.
Just because you think you want to get back with your ex does not mean this is really the best choice for you right now. There's also the point of whether or not your ex even wants to be back with you. If they are saying they don't want to be with you, you don't want to waste time and effort trying to "win" them back. If you are serious about trying to make it work again, you need to come from an approach of understanding why they do not want to be back with you and how you can work on that to repair what is broken in the relationship.
If you're not even on speaking terms or a friendship basis with your ex, you certainly don't want to try to jump back in the relationship where it left off. You will need to get to know one another again. It's almost like starting over from the beginning except this time you have baggage from the former relationship.
Next time you find yourself thinking should you get back with your ex, just remember the tips here in this article. No one else can tell you whether or not this is the right decision for you to make. Only you can make that choice but now you have some guidelines to help you make this decision for yourself.
Allan has been writing articles for nearly 2 years now. Not only does this author specialize in diet, fitness and weight loss, you can also check out his latest website at http://www.oxosaladspinners.com which reviews various products such as an Oxo Salad Spinner and various Good Grips Salad Spinners etc.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Friday, January 29, 2010
Preparing For Marriage? Things to Do Before Saying I Do
A lot of marriages failed, mostly in their first five years as a couple, because of unpreparedness before saying their "I do". A lot of couples fell in love and directly thought that this is the man/woman they are looking for. After the wedding and a blissful honeymoon, everything became a nightmare because of a lot of reasons. Some of the main reasons are high expectations, lack of communication, money problems, and the worst, an illicit love affair.
Let us not talk about the last reason above. Rather, let us understand why these things happened. Since this article is all about readiness before marriages, then we will focus on this side of marriage.
Preparation before marriage must be taken into consideration. In fact a lot of divorce or separation could have been avoided if couples went through counseling sessions or seminars before the wedding. My husband and I went through these counseling sessions before exchanging our wedding vows. The only thing I can say is that I am really grateful that we did it. Now, I will share the things we have learned:
1. High expectations. A lot of marriages started nice and good but when the wife/husband realized the weaknesses of the partner, things started to change. "This is not the kind of woman I wanted to marry." "I never expected that my husband snores a lot." The complaints will not end there. Slowly the other looks on the other in a negative manner.
Counsel: Think of your partner as a unique/special person. Your partner has good points, too. That is the reason why you fell in love in the first place. Rather, think on how you can complement your talents and gifting with each other. Try to look on your partner in a positive manner.
Course of action: After the counsel we were required to write down all our expectations with our partner and, the things we like and dislike as a person. We, also, wrote the good and bad points that we saw toward our partner. Then I shared my list to my husband and he gave his list to me. Think of our reactions as we read the list. Through those lists, we talked about how to work things out even we were not yet married at that time. Then we kept doing this course of action once in a while, even until now. My husband and I will be having our wedding 18th anniversary this December and our relationship is getting sweeter in every moment.
2. Lack of Communication. This is one of the marriage killers in the history of mankind. Men tend not to openly communicate their feelings while women are very expressive. Also, women, most of the time, assume that the partner understood their actions without verbally explaining it. See the big difference?
Counsel: Human beings are quite like idiots a lot of times. How can one understand the other person without saying it through words? That is exactly why we should verbally communicate what is in our hearts. My husband always says he loves me every day on a of lot ways. I know what these actions means because he told me his codes. One of his codes is that he just simply taps me three times and that means "I love you."
Course of Action: We were told by our counselor to share the things in our minds to our partner without thinking of rejection and we treat the other the same way. We were told to think of it as a way to improve ourselves. At the same time, to try to listen first what the other has to say without reacting negatively right away. With this practicum, we were able to practice sharing our thoughts with each other. This practicum always reminded us on how to communicate well until now.
3. Money Problems. This problem can, also, be part of lack of communication. Budgeting is a major issue as well.
Counsel: In marriage, there is a possibility that either one of the couple is careful when it comes to money matter while the other is the opposite. Each should learn to communicate when money is concerned. Both must learn to live according to their means and not through their wants. Both must talk first if one will purchase a major item for the household or for personal use. Even if the couples earned from their own jobs but sharing your thoughts to your partner is all about trust and friendship as a couple.
Course of Action: We wrote down our incomes on paper. Then we prepared a list of expense priorities for the family. We, also, wrote the things we wanted to see in our household, like owning a house, and the preparations for the future, like insurance. Then we tried to budget our money based on our priorities first then for the other things. This experience enabled us to go back to this course of action every time money problem comes in and before we make major decisions.
I can keep on writing but to cover the major issues is an accomplishment as well. Hoping this article will help you as you prepare to be tied forever to your special somebody. These counsels are also applicable to already married couples. I hope this helps you because it helped us a lot.
Eli Jone E. Bacarro had previously worked as one of the staff in a drug rehabilitation for women in Cebu, Philippines. She has the desire to help families undergoing divorce. She is, also, willing to counsel victims of incest.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Let us not talk about the last reason above. Rather, let us understand why these things happened. Since this article is all about readiness before marriages, then we will focus on this side of marriage.
Preparation before marriage must be taken into consideration. In fact a lot of divorce or separation could have been avoided if couples went through counseling sessions or seminars before the wedding. My husband and I went through these counseling sessions before exchanging our wedding vows. The only thing I can say is that I am really grateful that we did it. Now, I will share the things we have learned:
1. High expectations. A lot of marriages started nice and good but when the wife/husband realized the weaknesses of the partner, things started to change. "This is not the kind of woman I wanted to marry." "I never expected that my husband snores a lot." The complaints will not end there. Slowly the other looks on the other in a negative manner.
Counsel: Think of your partner as a unique/special person. Your partner has good points, too. That is the reason why you fell in love in the first place. Rather, think on how you can complement your talents and gifting with each other. Try to look on your partner in a positive manner.
Course of action: After the counsel we were required to write down all our expectations with our partner and, the things we like and dislike as a person. We, also, wrote the good and bad points that we saw toward our partner. Then I shared my list to my husband and he gave his list to me. Think of our reactions as we read the list. Through those lists, we talked about how to work things out even we were not yet married at that time. Then we kept doing this course of action once in a while, even until now. My husband and I will be having our wedding 18th anniversary this December and our relationship is getting sweeter in every moment.
2. Lack of Communication. This is one of the marriage killers in the history of mankind. Men tend not to openly communicate their feelings while women are very expressive. Also, women, most of the time, assume that the partner understood their actions without verbally explaining it. See the big difference?
Counsel: Human beings are quite like idiots a lot of times. How can one understand the other person without saying it through words? That is exactly why we should verbally communicate what is in our hearts. My husband always says he loves me every day on a of lot ways. I know what these actions means because he told me his codes. One of his codes is that he just simply taps me three times and that means "I love you."
Course of Action: We were told by our counselor to share the things in our minds to our partner without thinking of rejection and we treat the other the same way. We were told to think of it as a way to improve ourselves. At the same time, to try to listen first what the other has to say without reacting negatively right away. With this practicum, we were able to practice sharing our thoughts with each other. This practicum always reminded us on how to communicate well until now.
3. Money Problems. This problem can, also, be part of lack of communication. Budgeting is a major issue as well.
Counsel: In marriage, there is a possibility that either one of the couple is careful when it comes to money matter while the other is the opposite. Each should learn to communicate when money is concerned. Both must learn to live according to their means and not through their wants. Both must talk first if one will purchase a major item for the household or for personal use. Even if the couples earned from their own jobs but sharing your thoughts to your partner is all about trust and friendship as a couple.
Course of Action: We wrote down our incomes on paper. Then we prepared a list of expense priorities for the family. We, also, wrote the things we wanted to see in our household, like owning a house, and the preparations for the future, like insurance. Then we tried to budget our money based on our priorities first then for the other things. This experience enabled us to go back to this course of action every time money problem comes in and before we make major decisions.
I can keep on writing but to cover the major issues is an accomplishment as well. Hoping this article will help you as you prepare to be tied forever to your special somebody. These counsels are also applicable to already married couples. I hope this helps you because it helped us a lot.
Eli Jone E. Bacarro had previously worked as one of the staff in a drug rehabilitation for women in Cebu, Philippines. She has the desire to help families undergoing divorce. She is, also, willing to counsel victims of incest.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Romantic Relationships: A Spiritual Perspective
Meeting someone so attractive, so beautiful. Your heart beats like the rhythm at the races and your knees become Jell-O.
We all know this feeling of falling in love and seeing the amazing beauty in another. Couples fall in love blissfully and fall out of it with such heartache. Love does not have to be so difficult and as we all have grown to learn, you get out of something what you put into it. But there is a thin line to keep an eye on here. Our minds have grown to make us believe that we are “not complete”; “unfulfilled” or “unloved”, until we meet the love of our life. This was the mind talking (also known as the Ego), not our soul.
Your soul knows that you are complete, an extraordinary being, a creations of God. A creations of God being a creation of love. Innately, inside of you, you are pure love and our Ego is here to challenge that. Only when you love like God loves, you will experience the fulfilled life that we call “heaven”. God loves all equally, no-one is more special than any other. Which brings us to the “Special Relationship”.
When two people catch a glimpse of each other’s beauty, we often get a feeling that the relationship will fulfill our emptiness and we clutch onto the other person. Initially you might have extraordinary times, but the core on which such relationships are built, is simply your “thought” that you are not complete and that you NEED another to complete you. It is for this reason that when such relationships change form (traditionally known as ending the relationship), that lots of pain is experienced. Release your partner and all people in your life every moment. This is one of the principles to fulfilling relationships.
When you wish the other person their freedom and have faith that the relationship will serve both of you, for your spiritual growth, beautiful things come to fruition. Set them free every moment of the day and have the knowing that the purpose of the relationship is to create opportunities for you to “show up” and be the most glorious, most amazing person you know you are. This includes forgiving, not judging, showing compassion and loving unconditionally.
Relationships have nothing to do with the other person. Knowing this puts you in a powerful place where you have control over how you feel and who you are going to be in the relationship. Initially there will be bliss and lots of joy, followed by opportunities to work on your soul. I once read that you ask for God to send you the perfect partner, but instead he sends you something much better – someone slightly less than what you expected. See the relationship as a sacred space where you can grow. Your soul knows that you will slowly re-member your magnificence and uses romantic relationships to show us that.
We see that so often by being told my our loved ones how amazing we are, just to remind us of our soul’s natural state – perfection. Perfection does not mean you will not experience heartache, sadness or some of the less pleasing experiences, but it does mean that you are wonderful as you are and need not change a thing. Play fully – every moment of the way. Open your heart and love without bounds. When you open your heart completely and love another without conditions, people see the perfect person you are and get a glimpse of the God within you. Do not be afraid of rejection of any kind, because remember rejection does not mean anything is “wrong” with you, it is just a choice the other soul makes on it’s journey. You are complete and perfect by design and need not chance a thing about you to be loved – just love others and you will experience love.
This lesson places lots of emphasis on judgment. When we find someone and label the relationship as “Special”, so easily we place expectations on that person: “Will he call by 6?” or “Will she like what I got her?”. We place too much emphasis on the “form” of the relationship and less on the “content”.
A holy relationship is intimate, has authenticity, and allows freedom for the souls to grow. You need not be in a Romantic Relationship in order to experience intimacy. Your best friend allows you to cry when you wish to do so and he/she does not judge you for being sad. Consider being that to your Romantic Partner, allowing them the freedom to be anyway and know they are loved, irrespective of what space they are in on that day. Are your needs met? You have no “needs” for you have it all. You are whole and complete, filled with pure love. Consider that you have no lack and by doing so, you have no needs. You might have some things you wish to experience, but experiencing them could be with anyone, not only your Romantic Partner. Our generation has separated ourselves from God. “Separated from God” does not mean we are ignoring the entity called “God”, but instead, it means we have removed ourselves from the “knowing” that we are all love. That we are all connected, all beings, all elements and all that exists are one energy source called “God”, experienced as LOVE.
We can regain that consciousness by loving every being, every element and all opportunities that crosses our path – equally.
Meeting someone so attractive, so beautiful. Your heart beats like the rhythm at the races and your knees become Jell-O.
We all know this feeling of falling in love and seeing the amazing beauty in another. Couples fall in love blissfully and fall out of it with such heartache. Love does not have to be so difficult and as we all have grown to learn, you get out of something what you put into it. But there is a thin line to keep an eye on here. Our minds have grown to make us believe that we are “not complete”; “unfulfilled” or “unloved”, until we meet the love of our life. This was the mind talking (also known as the Ego), not our soul.
Your soul knows that you are complete, an extraordinary being, a creations of God. A creations of God being a creation of love. Innately, inside of you, you are pure love and our Ego is here to challenge that. Only when you love like God loves, you will experience the fulfilled life that we call “heaven”. God loves all equally, no-one is more special than any other. Which brings us to the “Special Relationship”.
When two people catch a glimpse of each other’s beauty, we often get a feeling that the relationship will fulfil our emptiness and we clutch onto the other person. Initially you might have extraordinary times, but the core on which such relationships are built, is simply your “thought” that you are not complete and that you NEED another to complete you. It is for this reason that when such relationships change form (traditionally known as ending the relationship), that lots of pain is experienced. Release your partner and all people in your life every moment. This is one of the principles to fulfilling relationships.
When you wish the other person their freedom and have faith that the relationship will serve both of you, for your spiritual growth, beautiful things come to fruition. Set them free every moment of the day and have the knowing that the purpose of the relationship is to create opportunities for you to “show up” and be the most glorious, most amazing person you know you are. This includes forgiving, not judging, showing compassion and loving unconditionally.
Relationships have nothing to do with the other person. Knowing this puts you in a powerful place where you have control over how you feel and who you are going to be in the relationship. Initially there will be bliss and lots of joy, followed by opportunities to work on your soul. I once read that you ask for God to send you the perfect partner, but instead he sends you something much better – someone slightly less than what you expected. See the relationship as a sacred space where you can grow. Your soul knows that you will slowly re-member your magnificence and uses romantic relationships to show us that.
We see that so often by being told my our loved ones how amazing we are, just to remind us of our soul’s natural state – perfection. Perfection does not mean you will not experience heartache, sadness or some of the less pleasing experiences, but it does mean that you are wonderful as you are and need not change a thing. Play fully – every moment of the way.
Open your heart and love without bounds. When you open your heart completely and love another without conditions, people see the perfect person you are and get a glimpse of the God within you. Do not be afraid of rejection of any kind, because remember rejection does not mean anything is “wrong” with you, it is just a choice the other soul makes on it’s journey. You are complete and perfect by design and need not chance a thing about you to be loved – just love others and you will experience love.
This lesson places lots of emphasis on judgment. When we find someone and label the relationship as “Special”, so easily we place expectations on that person: “Will he call by 6?” or “Will she like what I got her?”. We place too much emphasis on the “form” of the relationship and less on the “content”.
A holy relationship is intimate, has authenticity, and allows freedom for the souls to grow. You need not be in a Romantic Relationship in order to experience intimacy. Your best friend allows you to cry when you wish to do so and he/she does not judge you for being sad. Consider being that to your Romantic Partner, allowing them the freedom to be anyway and know they are loved, irrespective of what space they are in on that day. Are your needs met? You have no “needs” for you have it all. You are whole and complete, filled with pure love.
Consider that you have no lack and by doing so, you have no needs. You might have some things you wish to experience, but experiencing them could be with anyone, not only your Romantic Partner. Our generation has separated ourselves from God. “Separated from God” does not mean we are ignoring the entity called “God”, but instead, it means we have removed ourselves from the “knowing” that we are all love. That we are all connected, all beings, all elements and all that exists are one energy source called “God”, experienced as LOVE.
We can regain that consciousness by loving every being, every element and all opportunities that crosses our path – equally.
About The Author
Justin Luyt, the author of "The Spirit of Romance" has been consulting and training individuals and corporations for over 10 years. He has build a successful Romance Coaching practice at [http://www.RomanceCoaching.biz] as well as released his latest book in 2004 - "The Spirit of Romance", which is now available at [http://www.Romance-IT.com]. 1-877-ROMANCE
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
We all know this feeling of falling in love and seeing the amazing beauty in another. Couples fall in love blissfully and fall out of it with such heartache. Love does not have to be so difficult and as we all have grown to learn, you get out of something what you put into it. But there is a thin line to keep an eye on here. Our minds have grown to make us believe that we are “not complete”; “unfulfilled” or “unloved”, until we meet the love of our life. This was the mind talking (also known as the Ego), not our soul.
Your soul knows that you are complete, an extraordinary being, a creations of God. A creations of God being a creation of love. Innately, inside of you, you are pure love and our Ego is here to challenge that. Only when you love like God loves, you will experience the fulfilled life that we call “heaven”. God loves all equally, no-one is more special than any other. Which brings us to the “Special Relationship”.
When two people catch a glimpse of each other’s beauty, we often get a feeling that the relationship will fulfill our emptiness and we clutch onto the other person. Initially you might have extraordinary times, but the core on which such relationships are built, is simply your “thought” that you are not complete and that you NEED another to complete you. It is for this reason that when such relationships change form (traditionally known as ending the relationship), that lots of pain is experienced. Release your partner and all people in your life every moment. This is one of the principles to fulfilling relationships.
When you wish the other person their freedom and have faith that the relationship will serve both of you, for your spiritual growth, beautiful things come to fruition. Set them free every moment of the day and have the knowing that the purpose of the relationship is to create opportunities for you to “show up” and be the most glorious, most amazing person you know you are. This includes forgiving, not judging, showing compassion and loving unconditionally.
Relationships have nothing to do with the other person. Knowing this puts you in a powerful place where you have control over how you feel and who you are going to be in the relationship. Initially there will be bliss and lots of joy, followed by opportunities to work on your soul. I once read that you ask for God to send you the perfect partner, but instead he sends you something much better – someone slightly less than what you expected. See the relationship as a sacred space where you can grow. Your soul knows that you will slowly re-member your magnificence and uses romantic relationships to show us that.
We see that so often by being told my our loved ones how amazing we are, just to remind us of our soul’s natural state – perfection. Perfection does not mean you will not experience heartache, sadness or some of the less pleasing experiences, but it does mean that you are wonderful as you are and need not change a thing. Play fully – every moment of the way. Open your heart and love without bounds. When you open your heart completely and love another without conditions, people see the perfect person you are and get a glimpse of the God within you. Do not be afraid of rejection of any kind, because remember rejection does not mean anything is “wrong” with you, it is just a choice the other soul makes on it’s journey. You are complete and perfect by design and need not chance a thing about you to be loved – just love others and you will experience love.
This lesson places lots of emphasis on judgment. When we find someone and label the relationship as “Special”, so easily we place expectations on that person: “Will he call by 6?” or “Will she like what I got her?”. We place too much emphasis on the “form” of the relationship and less on the “content”.
A holy relationship is intimate, has authenticity, and allows freedom for the souls to grow. You need not be in a Romantic Relationship in order to experience intimacy. Your best friend allows you to cry when you wish to do so and he/she does not judge you for being sad. Consider being that to your Romantic Partner, allowing them the freedom to be anyway and know they are loved, irrespective of what space they are in on that day. Are your needs met? You have no “needs” for you have it all. You are whole and complete, filled with pure love. Consider that you have no lack and by doing so, you have no needs. You might have some things you wish to experience, but experiencing them could be with anyone, not only your Romantic Partner. Our generation has separated ourselves from God. “Separated from God” does not mean we are ignoring the entity called “God”, but instead, it means we have removed ourselves from the “knowing” that we are all love. That we are all connected, all beings, all elements and all that exists are one energy source called “God”, experienced as LOVE.
We can regain that consciousness by loving every being, every element and all opportunities that crosses our path – equally.
Meeting someone so attractive, so beautiful. Your heart beats like the rhythm at the races and your knees become Jell-O.
We all know this feeling of falling in love and seeing the amazing beauty in another. Couples fall in love blissfully and fall out of it with such heartache. Love does not have to be so difficult and as we all have grown to learn, you get out of something what you put into it. But there is a thin line to keep an eye on here. Our minds have grown to make us believe that we are “not complete”; “unfulfilled” or “unloved”, until we meet the love of our life. This was the mind talking (also known as the Ego), not our soul.
Your soul knows that you are complete, an extraordinary being, a creations of God. A creations of God being a creation of love. Innately, inside of you, you are pure love and our Ego is here to challenge that. Only when you love like God loves, you will experience the fulfilled life that we call “heaven”. God loves all equally, no-one is more special than any other. Which brings us to the “Special Relationship”.
When two people catch a glimpse of each other’s beauty, we often get a feeling that the relationship will fulfil our emptiness and we clutch onto the other person. Initially you might have extraordinary times, but the core on which such relationships are built, is simply your “thought” that you are not complete and that you NEED another to complete you. It is for this reason that when such relationships change form (traditionally known as ending the relationship), that lots of pain is experienced. Release your partner and all people in your life every moment. This is one of the principles to fulfilling relationships.
When you wish the other person their freedom and have faith that the relationship will serve both of you, for your spiritual growth, beautiful things come to fruition. Set them free every moment of the day and have the knowing that the purpose of the relationship is to create opportunities for you to “show up” and be the most glorious, most amazing person you know you are. This includes forgiving, not judging, showing compassion and loving unconditionally.
Relationships have nothing to do with the other person. Knowing this puts you in a powerful place where you have control over how you feel and who you are going to be in the relationship. Initially there will be bliss and lots of joy, followed by opportunities to work on your soul. I once read that you ask for God to send you the perfect partner, but instead he sends you something much better – someone slightly less than what you expected. See the relationship as a sacred space where you can grow. Your soul knows that you will slowly re-member your magnificence and uses romantic relationships to show us that.
We see that so often by being told my our loved ones how amazing we are, just to remind us of our soul’s natural state – perfection. Perfection does not mean you will not experience heartache, sadness or some of the less pleasing experiences, but it does mean that you are wonderful as you are and need not change a thing. Play fully – every moment of the way.
Open your heart and love without bounds. When you open your heart completely and love another without conditions, people see the perfect person you are and get a glimpse of the God within you. Do not be afraid of rejection of any kind, because remember rejection does not mean anything is “wrong” with you, it is just a choice the other soul makes on it’s journey. You are complete and perfect by design and need not chance a thing about you to be loved – just love others and you will experience love.
This lesson places lots of emphasis on judgment. When we find someone and label the relationship as “Special”, so easily we place expectations on that person: “Will he call by 6?” or “Will she like what I got her?”. We place too much emphasis on the “form” of the relationship and less on the “content”.
A holy relationship is intimate, has authenticity, and allows freedom for the souls to grow. You need not be in a Romantic Relationship in order to experience intimacy. Your best friend allows you to cry when you wish to do so and he/she does not judge you for being sad. Consider being that to your Romantic Partner, allowing them the freedom to be anyway and know they are loved, irrespective of what space they are in on that day. Are your needs met? You have no “needs” for you have it all. You are whole and complete, filled with pure love.
Consider that you have no lack and by doing so, you have no needs. You might have some things you wish to experience, but experiencing them could be with anyone, not only your Romantic Partner. Our generation has separated ourselves from God. “Separated from God” does not mean we are ignoring the entity called “God”, but instead, it means we have removed ourselves from the “knowing” that we are all love. That we are all connected, all beings, all elements and all that exists are one energy source called “God”, experienced as LOVE.
We can regain that consciousness by loving every being, every element and all opportunities that crosses our path – equally.
About The Author
Justin Luyt, the author of "The Spirit of Romance" has been consulting and training individuals and corporations for over 10 years. He has build a successful Romance Coaching practice at [http://www.RomanceCoaching.biz] as well as released his latest book in 2004 - "The Spirit of Romance", which is now available at [http://www.Romance-IT.com]. 1-877-ROMANCE
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
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