One of the misconceptions most people have is women are impossible to understand. Believe it or not even women think that of themselves, too.
I have learned to know that women are possible to understand if we men invest the time it takes to get to know them. 1 Peter 3:7 says "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding." If we are to live with them with understanding, how could we live with them if they are impossible to understand? I think it is funny how some of us men will pour hours into an instruction manual on how to operate some type of electronic device or machinery, but we won't take the time to get to know our wife.
Furthermore, God Himself has given us our wife because Proverbs 19:4 reminds us "Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD."
Sometimes, my defense mechanism was activated when my wife asked me a question or confronted me with some shortcoming in my life. Then I discovered, just recently that that was the very reason why God gave her to me. I am blessed with a partner who is my equal... a partner who is talented and who helps me accomplish many goals. This is, in essence, because Genesis says God gave Adam a helper comparable to him. Yes, COMPARABLE to him, not below him like some men tend to think. And although God has allowed me the privilege of being the head of the house and my wife should submit to me, she is comparable and needs to be included in the planning and the decisions that are being made. She should not just be left out; she might point something out that you did not catch.
Men's Responsibilities
God laid on men a set of responsibilities regarding our spouse. Are we living up to them? Let's read and find out.
Love Her.
First, we are to love them as Christ loved the church. In Ephesians 5:25 it says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her." (NKJV) What exactly does this mean? This was vague for a long time for me, but now I know it means I am to love my wife by dying to self, and to ultimately put her needs above my own.
Second, we are to love them as we love ourselves. Ephesians 5:28 says, "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
I often need to ask myself if I would like for someone to treat me the way I am treating my wife. Many times the answer is "no." Or, what if I treated my friends the way I treat my wife? The truth is, if I treated them the way I sometimes treat my wife, then I wouldn't have many friends left.
Sanctify and Cleanse Her.
It also says in Ephesians 5:26 we are to "sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word." This is a tough one because we are called to be the spiritual leader in our home and sanctify and cleanse our wives through the Word. We sanctify them and cleanse them in two ways: first, through the Bible, by guiding her and teaching her the Word of God. Second, we sanctify and cleanse them through every word that comes from our mouth, which means we are not to speak harshly to our wife. This is an area where I still fall short.
Present Her Holy.
Ephesians 5:27 says "that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish." The only way to present our wife holy is to turn to God for guidance, and spend a lot of time on our knees before God asking for help.
Nourish and Cherish Her.
Ephesians 5:29 says "for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord [does] the church." The word "nourish" means to provide food, or to bring up to maturity. We tenderly look for ways to lead our wives to the spiritual food and water of God's Word. The word "cherish" means to care for: be fond of; be attached to. Therefore, to cherish our wives means that we care for them, and provide a warm, safe and secure environment for them. Practically, it means providing for their physical needs, but more importantly, it means providing for them emotionally and spiritually.
So my fellow men, I say we have a tall order in front of us, and I know we cannot do it alone. Not only do we need to be in the Word and in prayer seeking the answers and the strength from God, but we also need to become students in the subject and educate ourselves.
Gus Solis is an expert author in the area of family, parenting, and eschatology. For a list of helpful resources click here: http://www.shoplbg.com.
Gus and his wife, Shirley, have been married since 1993. They have five children and are based in Homestead, Florida. Each year, they travel the country for six months, catering to the needs of homeschooling families as they share their hearts on life and educational issues. Gus' main goal is to encourage husbands and fathers to be involved with their families by leading and ministering to their needs. With a heartfelt message, no man will be the same after hearing him share his testimony and vision.
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