Many of us find ourselves single by default. We may well have had a long term relationship or two, but then find ourselves unexpectedly living alone, in different surroundings, having to start out again. At first it can be a busy time, recovering from the upheaval, settling into our new home, earning money to pay the bills, making new friends and interests. Then reality sets in. This is it. This is how it is going to be.
Some people rapidly find the dating game fun and build a busy social life quite quickly. Others find it a much slower process for many reasons. Some people may not feel that they want to find a new partner, they may still be hurting and need time to heal. Others may be shy or find the whole social process of where to go, what to wear, what to say daunting. Still others may be genuinely disinterested in the whole process and be happy going about their lives with their business and social interests fairly settled and sufficient for their needs.
Years may pass with a comfortable, happy enough, quality of life being established. Then, totally out of the blue, a potential new partner can come into our life. It may be through a friends' introduction, or through work or a social club, but all of a sudden this new relationship has come into our life. Exciting, scary, unprepared are all emotions that can be experienced at a time like this. How to cope and enjoy the opportunity is a big part of the challenge as many people settle over time into the mind set that they are passed having emotional relationships and are comfortable with the quality of their present lifestyle. A concern as to the level of disruption that this new experience may bring into their life, emotions and routine can be a real impediment to agreeing to start out again on the relationship front.
However, when there is a potential for joy, intimacy and closeness in a new relationship, why not take a chance and have a go? Love, support and companionship are valuable things to have in life and if we get another chance for happiness with a special someone who cares about us, it does seem a shame to miss the opportunity through fear and apprehension. Taking things steady can be a good guide to success at a time like this. Learning about someone elses' interests, opinions and tastes can open a wealth of new experiences, and if not all are fun or what we would have chosen to do, well at least we can say that we tried something new and different.
Enjoy the companionship and appreciate that the only rule is that there are no rules at a time like this. What does it matter what the neighbours or other people think. Most true friends are pleased when someone close is doing something that makes them smile and gives them pleasure. They are pleased to see a friend happy and settled with a caring partner.
Keep communications between you both open and honest. It is good to say how one feels about different matters. Even feeling tense or uneasy about something is best aired, as often, once it has been said and is out in the open the negative feelings tend to disperse.
Find a balance between stretching yourself and compromising. Many new areas of interest can be explored in a relationship, and this is especially relevant later on in life, when there are no business, children or elderly family members in need of the same level of attention as in earlier years. It can be an adventure to try different music, food, interests, even holiday styles and destinations.
The motivation to try these new things can bring with it a new lease of life. Many people find that they start to get fitter, lose a little weight and get more toned, maybe revitalise their wardrobe or image, all things to bring a spring to ones step and a more positive feel to life.
Maintaining ones own interests and friendships is also important. There is no need to put all ones eggs into one basket. Keep some space for personal time whilst also enjoying the new experiences and interests that have been brought into your life. And remember, life is not a dress rehearsal, it is the real deal. Make each day count and enjoy the opportunities that come along.
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with:
- stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief
- couples in crisis to help improve communications and understanding
- with business clients to help support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams
For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
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